In All Things

Healing...

2011-06-30T10:16:00.000-04:00

I saw the surgeon for my post-op appointment last Tuesday. It feels like I've been out of commission forever!
My pathology report indicates that I had an endometrial growth under my abdominal muscle on top of the fascia. The surgeon was able to remove the growth by stretching and manipulating the muscle fibers rather than removing the muscle (a HUGE blessing!!), she then attached a piece of mesh to the area where the endometrioma was in order to prevent a possible hernia. The muscle will eventually grow INTO the mesh, strengthening the weakened area. My belly is almost back to normal, a very welcome change from my post-op look of being somewhere in mid-pregnancy. It's been a more difficult recovery than my gall bladder surgery. I have periodic episodes of excruciating, breath-stealing pain that the doc attributes to muscles pulling and fighting the mesh and each other; apparently mesh has no "give", so anytime I strain or get too full the muscles flex and pull causing the mesh to fight back--the mesh, in all of its stability, wins. It's probably the most painful feeling I've ever experienced, similar in nature to pregnancy contractions, but at times more intense and located just below my ribs making it nearly impossible for me to breathe. Pain, pain, go away....and never come back!
I am restricted to lifting ten pounds and under; limited bending and stretching; no exercising (arrrgghh!); and no sitting up from a supine position, instead log rolling to the side before sitting up.
All is well; however, I am a terrible patient and have been tempted to cheat by getting in a very light workout of some sort (realizing I will only be cheating myself). This not working out business is for the birds. I really bugged the doctor for an okay to work out prior to my six week minimum recovery time and she said when she sees me on the 12th she MAY allow me to start running :)........but NO lifting weights or doing core work until the last week in July. Instead, I take a walk around the neighborhood and I'm quickly reminded by discomfort, that I am STILL healing. Now, I am even more determined to run the half marathon this October!!

If you like details...

2011-06-10T09:18:00.004-04:00

I have had mystery pain up and to the right of my umbilicus since August of 2009 when it became so severe that I went to the ER. I had an ultrasound, and a CT scan that revealed nothing but a bit of fluid in my abdominal cavity and a small liver hemangioma (These are harmless and very common, most people just don't know they have them.) My pain was chalked up to a "possible ruptured ovarian cyst", and I was sent home. Pretty odd since my pain wasn't "pelvic" in nature.

November 2009, after this nonsensical diagnosis from the ER my ob/gyn did an ultrasound of my ovaries which showed several small cysts. Not uncommon, especially mid cycle when one would expect cysts on ovaries, after all that's what ovulation is. I ask her if my pain could be endometriosis but she said not likely because my pain is in my abdomen.

In March 2010 I visited a new primary care physician and was told that my pain might be related to my period so he wanted to put me on low dose birth control pills to try it out. Three months later, no notable change so I quit taking them.

At some point in the fall I went for my yearly exam at the ob/gyn. I explain that I'm still having this pain and it seems like it's related to my period. Could it be endometriosis? No, she explains that endo pain would be in my pelvis, not my abdomen.

October 2010 I had an appointment with the NP related to horrible pain. She suspected that it could be my gall bladder and scheduled me for a Hida Scan at the beginning of November. I asked her if she thought it could be endo, because it usually comes with my periods, she also says no.

November 6 my pain was so unbearable; instinctively I thought something was terribly wrong, but all of these dead-end diagnoses made me question myself. Who wants to look foolish heading to the ER for the same thing as last year, only to be sent home with "nothing wrong" (Especially a nursing student, gasp!! You know how they get a little hypochondriacal.) My sister-in-law convinced me, actually forced me to go to the ER to get checked out. I was poked and pushed on by several nurses and doctors and it was determined that I should get an ultrasound. Before the ultrasound I was asked if I wanted any Morphine, but I declined. When it comes to me personally, I prefer to treat the problems not the symptoms. The ultrasound was unbelievably painful!! I was crying and screaming as if I had never experienced pain before. The tech was pressing down on the area of pain so hard "to get a gooooood pictuuuuure", that I seriously had to refrain from smacking her. She said I had a lot of stool in my colon (may be TMI, but hey, we're all full of it at some time or another) and was trying to see if I had gall stones. Morphine please!! I received two doses of that when I returned to my room, but I'm not sure that it helped all that much to be honest.

The doctor told me that the ultrasound was good, no stones, no inflammation. She thought that my pain was too severe to send me home so decided to keep me for observation, and have a Hida Scan done in the morning. (Ironic, since I was scheduled for one on November 11.) I asked her if my pain could be caused by endometriosis (because I had just had my period and the pain was at it's worst) but she said it was too high in my abdomen. (See the pattern here??)

My pain resolved itself somewhat over night (or was it the Morphine?), though Michael and I didn't sleep much. I was wheeled downstairs to have the Hida Scan. I was injected with radioactive dye that would light up my gall bladder nice and pretty. I had to lay perfectly still while a camera took pictures of my gall bladder emptying. I think it took about an hour. (Why is it that when you have to be still your nose itches, hair is parted wrong and feels funny, throat is scratchy, arms are tingly, hospital gown is pulling, etc.?) I was watching the pictures and from what it looked like my gall bladder stayed neon the whole time, which meant bile wasn't emptying. My suspicions were right. The surgeon came to my room about 30 minutes after my test to tell me that I had "biliary dyskinesia" and that my pain would "never go away, only get worse", unless I had my gall bladder removed. So THAT'S what's been causing me all of this grief for a year?! Yes, take it out!!
Sparing all of the details from the surgery and the awful recovery (yes, I said "awful" even though one "isn't supposed to experience such a bad recovery from just having one's gall bladder removed", according to the nurses in the recovery room who didn't think I could hear them because I was just waking up from surgery), and that my gall bladder was attached to my colon, I was relieved that I would finally get back on my feet again and back to normal...

About one week post-op I went to see the surgeon and he said everything was healing nicely. I asked him how on earth I ended up with this gall bladder problem (Other than being female, I don't fit the stereotype for gall bladder problems) and he said "bad luck". Nice. I asked him if the adhesions could be endometriosis and he said no. Not to mention, "endometriosis is contained in the pelvis".

Two weeks post-op I began experiencing horrible pain again. The same pain that I had experienced since August 2009. I went to see the NP at my family physician's and she was convinced that I must be constipated and told me to take Milk of Magnesia for a few days to see how I felt. The pain ended up going away, so I figured her advice must have worked.

In February 2011 I went to see the NP at my ob/gyn to complain of the same pain. I told her that I have endometriosis and that's what must be causing my pain. She brushed it off with a side-to-side head nod in agreement and said there wasn't much to do but take birth control pills. Not an option for me.

Suddenly sometime in March, during one of my flare up's, I was pushing on my belly and I felt a hard lump. It stopped me dead in my tracks. I had Alexa come over to me and asked her to push really hard on my belly and tell me if she felt anything. "Yes. I feel a hard lump." The minute Michael got home I had him do the same. "Yes, honey, I can feel something hard." So....
Beginning of April I made an appointment to see my primary care doctor because the pain had not gone away and now I feel a hard lump. (I had been experiencing bouts of this horrible pain, that affected every aspect of my life for about a week and a half at a time since August 2009. It was progressively getting worse. I couldn't work out, do house work, stand up straight, lay down comfortably, I was miserable. On top of that, it happened during my periods which already caused enough bloating and cramping for one woman to have to deal with!) He felt the lump and referred me to one of the top surgeons in the area to see what his opinion was.

Well, this said amazing surgeon told me that he felt nothing, and he thought I was having "post-cholecystectomy syndrome". A fancy way of saying that when one has their gall bladder removed it isn't unusual to experience similar symptoms as before the surgery.....this usually lasts about six weeks, my surgery was five months ago. He checks me for a hernia. Nope. I asked him if it could be endometriosis (because I have a history) and he said no, endometriosis is in the pelvis, not the abdomen. So he sends me on my way suggesting that my doctor checks my liver function tests again... Hmm??

Three weeks later I decide to see my ob/gyn. I explain everything to her that has been happening for the past 18 months and when I told her my gall bladder and colon were attached she was convinced this was a case of endometrial adhesions. She, then refers me to see another top rated surgeon in the area. I obtained my pathology and operative reports from the surgery to take to the new surgeon.

I see the new surgeon the fourth week in May. My reports from my surgery do not indicate endometrial adhesions, I'm surprised. This was "a very common type of biliary dyskinesia, not unusual that it was attached by scar tissue to the colon". As a matter of fact, a lot of people with the condition live with it unknowingly without any symptoms and don't generally have their gall bladders removed. She also said that 80% of patients who have their gall bladders removed related to biliary dyskinesia don't have relief from symptoms. Nice. I had my gall bladder removed to cure the pain, and not only is this often unnecessary, but it wasn't my problem.

She wants me to get an ultrasound, because she thinks it's an endometrioma. I set up an appointment, and as the doctor instructed, I'm certain to tell the ultrasound techs to get a "superficial view of the abdomen", not an internal view of my organs. As the techs push down on my painful belly I asked them if they could actually see something, "Oh yeah, we see something." I had an immense sense of relief that something was actually there, now maybe we could get to the bottom of this. Most people wouldn't be happy to find a growth in their body through an ultrasound, however after all this time with pain, and no diagnosis, I welcomed it.

I schedule an appointment to see the surgeon, to review my ultrasound report, for the next week.

Oh happy day: The surgeon tells me that I have a 3 x 3 cm growth IN my rectus abdominus muscle. The report suggests it could be one of three things:
1. a hemangioma caused by my surgery (surgeon says doubtful, the radiologist didn't know that my surgery was about eight months ago)
2. fibrous tissue (surgeon says also doubtful given that these are usually caused by surgical scars and my lump isn't located at that site)
3. "given the patients history an endometrial mass cannot be ruled out" . The surgeon believes that with my history, and because my pain is consistent with my menstrual cycle, that I do have an endometrioma growing in my muscle.
(This explains so much! For the past three weeks, though I'm an avid runner, I have not been able to run for more than ten minutes at a time because the pain in my abdomen is so excruciating I am forced to stop and put firm pressure on it to stop the pain. Prior to this, it was only during my period that I had pain with exercise.)
The surgeon tells me that this needs to come out and that she would like to do the surgery when my pain is at it's worst--during my period (this sounds so enticing, doesn't it?) in order to see the tissue better because it will be active and inflamed (just like uterine tissue during menses). She mentioned that she has removed several of these growths before, but most of them occur in c-section scars. She assures me that once removed, her patients become asymptomatic and that the endometrioma doesn't return. She also tells me that while she can't say for certain at this point that it IS an endometrioma, she will have a much better idea when she sees it, and then once the pathology report is concluded we will know for sure. I will have a wide excision of the growth. She will remove the 3 x 3 section of "bad tissue" along with the muscle it has invaded, and a slight margin around it to be sure no endometrial cells remain causing a future new growth. This section will be replaced with a mesh screen to provide support until the muscle regenerates. I will have to wear a compression dressing for three days and an abdominal compression until I am healed. (About 4-6 weeks) No bending, lifting, exercising, straining. (This oughta be a fun summer!) I have the surgery tentatively scheduled for Monday. In the event that my body isn't "cycling" then, I will have it Thursday.

In defense of the doctors and nurses, since researching this "rectus abdominus endometrioma", I have taken note that it is a very rare growth. It does not always coincide with a diagnosis of "pelvic endometriosis", but that in most cases it grows as a result of uterine tissue being transplanted at an incisional site via surgical instruments. So my history with endometriosis would not automatically make me a candidate for an endometrioma. Most women with endometriomas are past c-section patients (which I am not), or have had other abdominal surgeries like laparotomies, or appendectomies. The only prior surgery I had that would even be relative to this is a laparoscopy that I had in 2003; however, my growth is not at the incisional site of either of my past surgeries. An endometrioma at a location other than an incisional site, is even more rare.
I give this history not to bore you, but to paint a picture of a patient who has been alluding to a certain problem for two years, and to the "system" of doctors and nurses who have been brushing off my suggestions for that long and unable to help me cure my pain. In nursing school, we were taught that the patient knows their body better than anyone, listen to the patient.

I encourage anyone who is suffering with a chronic health problem to be persistent in getting answers.
(As my precious daughter likes to conclude her creative writing stories...)
Please stay tuned...

it's monday...

2011-05-23T14:41:00.001-04:00

Today is a day for......

a morning run
an early afternoon trip to Meijer*
*followed by Target (for better prices on laundry detergent and fabric softener) and of course while I'm there, just to be fair, a stop off at Starbucks for a tall decaf iced latte with an apple & nut Kind bar on the side--paid for with a gift card!)
a later afternoon tackling of the "worst chore ever"--laundry, which will include (in order to make it more bearable) time on the patio with my book...*smile*
an early evening with my family for dinner (black bean burritos with onions, cheese & salsa, sides of brown rice and steamed broccoli)
an evening walk
a later evening family cuddle time
an even later evening bed time

Kind of simple. Kind of quiet. Very much enjoyed....

2011-05-09T15:04:00.001-04:00

I graduated!!!!!
The list of fantastic gifts that I received:

Le Creuset 7quart pot in brick red (cha-ching!!!)
White Lululemon track jacket (so cute I'll wear it when engaged in other activities as well :)
Beautiful black cord charm bracelet, with a heart charm, engraved "Nursing School Summa Cum Laude" (priceless!!)
Two gift cards to Starbucks (delightful!!)
Two gift cards to Outback/Carrabbas (can you say, "yummmmmm"?!)
"His Better Half" black and white paisley, square coffee mug (complete with "Her Better Half" mug for Michael :)
Sterling silver square Tiffany & Co. pendant necklace (soooo pretty!!)
An awesome "surprise" graduation party thrown by Michael, hosted by my dad & Michelle, set up by wonderful friends and family!! (One of the best days ever!!)
A Vermont Nurse Teddy Bear that reads "Stacy, RN" (adorable!)
Flowers (lovely ;)
Pre-graduation mani/pedi (ahhhh...)
Cash $$$
Thoughtful cards <3
Oh yeah, and my diploma! :)

So spoiled!! So blessed!
Thank you to my wonderful husband, beautiful daughter, and fantastic family and friends!!!
I did it!!!

It's Saturday!!

2011-04-30T07:46:00.000-04:00

Today is, "Find a dress and shoes for graduation" Day!!

It's also the day for:

Insanity #6
Sleeping in (made it to 7 a.m. which IS sleeping in when one has been waking at 4:40 for clinicals!!)
Cool morning breeze
Grocery shopping
Home mani/pedi?
Studying for my last management test
Shopping for a special something for a special someone :)
Laundry
Dinner with my Michael (yes, I meant to say "my Michael", because he is ;)
UFC fight night with my aforementioned love & friends (for some, this may seem like an odd addition to my "to-do" list, but I am a huge fan of MMA :)

Happy Saturday!! (I need to refill my coffee! Saturday coffee always tastes better, doesn't it?!)

INSANITY!

2011-04-29T15:25:00.003-04:00

Insanity!
Day five: Pure Cardio.... it lived up to its name. Started and finished with slow, deep stretching. I felt great and burned off the stress that had accumulated from a morning that started out a bit chaotic at clinicals. HOWEVER, today was my very last clinical day! I am extremely happy that it's over, but in its place I will turn over a new leaf in search of a job as a registered nurse. I have a test next week, and three days of review for my state boards. (Which I will likely take sometime in June/July after the state processes my application.) Then Saturday morning I graduate. Bittersweet.

I am being treated to a celebratory dinner tonight by my thoughtful husband. I'm not privy (I like that British sounding word, in light of the royal-ness of the day :) to where he is taking me, so I'll have to get back to you regarding my meal choice!

This morning I started the day with a banana, peanut butter sandwich on toasted Ezekiel bread.
I had a cherry pie Lara Bar for a snack (amidst the chaos), and then "cheated" by having a small cup of cereal pre-workout for energy.
I'm heading into the kitchen as soon as I'm done to grab an apple, Greek yogurt with a sprinkle of granola, and a 1 1/2 scoop protein shake for my post-workout "snack".
I am low on calories today, so I'll have to make up for it at dinner.....darn. ;)

p.s. I know how Princess Kate felt today, I married my prince almost 9 months ago and I love him more today than ever!! xo

Until tomorrow.....

Update: So we went to Carrabba's...one of my very favorite restaurants!! I had about 1300 calories to use up, so I got Wood-fired grilled chicken topped with arugula and tomatoes, an Italian salad with vinaigrette, a side of zucchini and squash, and 1 1/2 pieces of delightful, soft, yummy bread dipped in olive oil & spices!! THEN, I got a baby cone from The Scoop! I know, I know...but you have to splurge every once in awhile!
Delicious, and fun night with my love!

INSANITY!

2011-04-28T20:09:00.000-04:00

Insanity!
Day four: Cardio Recovery
A nice break with stretching, slow squats and lunges, and yoga poses. I got off track a bit with the Insanity diet today because of poor planning, but I stuck to healthy eating overall.

Breakfast: steel cut oats, walnuts, almond milk, and raisins.
Snack: Cherry Pie Lara Bar (deliciousness!)
Lunch: PB & banana on Ezekiel bread, carrot sticks
Pre-workout: 1/2 scoop protein with water
Post-workout snack: 1/2 greek yogurt (key lime, mmm!) with a sprinkle of organic granola
Dinner: Big salad with romaine lettuce, tomatoes, fresh parsley, kalamata olives, feta cheese, garbanzo beans, red wine vinegar & oil, and a squeeze of lemon; 2 hard boiled eggs with black pepper
(I might sneak in a warmed apple sprinkled with cinnamon while watching Idol tonight ;)

Looking forward to tomorrow---my very last clinical day! It's bittersweet, and I'm not sure it hit me yet!

Until tomorrow... :)

INSANITY!

2011-04-27T10:04:00.001-04:00

INSANITY!
Day three: Cardio Power & Resistance

I enjoy having a set workout, and meal plan. It leaves less for me to think about overall. I am, however, really looking forward to running outside again, and I don't want to give up my Saturday upper body training sessions with my buff husband ;) I'm going to figure out how to schedule both of these workouts into my 6 day Insanity routine....stay tuned, this may take some finagling!

Rainy day....guess I'll do laundry, clean up the random odds and ends that are strewn about the house, study and have meal #2.

(p.s. Two more clinical days starting tomorrow, test-Monday, then I'll be a big girl and graduate next weekend!)

INSANITY!

2011-04-26T09:57:00.000-04:00

Insanity!
Day two: Plyo Cardio Circuit
Intense interval training, lots of jumping, and quick movements! I was exhausted by the last interval....
I worked up just enough of an appetite to eat meal #2 of five for the day: two large eggs scrambled, in a whole wheat tortilla, 1/4 cup of low-fat shredded cheese, 1/2 cup of blueberries, and 1 cup of almond milk with 1 scoop of protein powder.
My first meal was 2/3 cup of steel cut oats, 1 1/2 T walnuts, 1 scoop of protein powder, and 1/4 of a banana with a splash of almond milk.
Meal #3: protein shake made with 1 cup almond milk, a banana, 1 T all natural peanut butter, and 1 1/2 scoops of protein powder.
Meal #4: 6 oz tuna with celery and onion mixed in 1 T olive oil mayo and dijon mustard on one piece of whole wheat toast, two small tomatoes, and an apple.
Meal #5: 3 oz grilled chicken, 2/3 cup brown rice, and 2/3 cup green beans.

Lots of water throughout the day!!

Going to see Water for Elephants with my nursing school bff, Lisa! Looking forward to this day off!

Until tomorrow.... :)

INSANITY!

2011-04-25T10:00:00.000-04:00

Today I started INSANITY, an insane cardio fitness dvd program that lasts for nine weeks. Included with this set is a guide to a meal plan: five meals per day, dividing the calories according to one's own metabolic rate which is determined by body weight, height, and activity level, along with the desire to gain, lose, or maintain weight.

Day one: Fit test--A series of specific exercises each performed for one minute. Record this number on an index card and reassess in two weeks. My numbers were not exactly what I would have hoped for but, Martha (as my friend calls it) arrived this morning and already had me feeling tired and crampy. (That's my excuse!)
I am to consume 2400 calories per day in order to maintain my body weight.

My goal is to firm up the not-so-firm areas, and develop strength, stamina, and power overall.

Once I start running I'll have to do one of two things.

1. Work out twice a day: a morning Insanity workout, and an evening run, and increase my caloric intake.

OR

2. Replace certain days of Insanity with runs and adjust my caloric intake accordingly.

Keep ya posted!!

The PW

2011-03-15T13:30:00.000-04:00

I have a new obsession!!!
It's..............The Pioneer Woman! How come no one ever told me about her until now??
Anyway, I LOVE how down-to-earth she is, and in so many ways she reminds me of a friend of mine, with her wittiness. Had this friend told me that SHE was a fan of the PW, I wouldn't have had to wait so long to begin my obsession!!
Her blog is inviting, relevant and entertaining. Her recipes are the delicious, fun, and step-by-step-with-pictures-so-I-don't-screw-it-up kind. Not only that, I've now discovered that she also has a book that chronicles her love story. Now who doesn't love a good love story? So not only do I want to buy her cookbook, but her love story too.
(Now that I've gone crazy with my "link" button, I highly encourage you to visit her sites...I'm certain you'll come away with a smile :)

*Blogger has not received compensation for product endorsement. ;)

Life's Luxuries

2011-03-08T09:05:00.004-05:00

Awesome news day!!
My wonderful husband got me a new car!! :) (How could that NOT be wonderful??)

I'll start by saying that I've been driving the same car for the past four years, and it's now 12 years old. (Hey, that's 84 in dog years!) It has been reliable, comfortable, warm, and much appreciated in that time. Though most people would love to drive a new car, I was very content with my less-than-new ride. I bonded with my car, after all, it went through a lot with me in our four years together.  I thanked God for every turn of the key that my car started; every push of the button that the heat turned on; every acceleration, break, and turn that it made--okay, not literally, but I truly was thankful for my car, and God knows this. On more than one occasion my car needed repair, and by God's grace and provision I was able to get it fixed through the generosity of someone else doing the work or helping me to pay for the work at times.
As I look out at my new car in the driveway, I am thrilled that I can warm the interior before we even step outside---yes, I have a remote starter. ~smile~ Does this mean that I will appreciate this car more than my last?   No, certainly not. I won't appreciate having it more, but I will appreciate having a car and the little luxuries about the car, that are simply that. I know that either way I am blessed to even HAVE a car; like every material thing in life, it can be here one moment, and gone the next.
By God's grace, I humbly recognize the most important luxuries from Him. He has blessed me so richly with intangible gifts in my life-- LOVE that comes from the amazing selflessness of my adoring husband; JOY that fills my heart by experiencing life as Alexa's mom;  PEACE that results from His example of forgiveness; and MERCY that serves as proof of my savior, Jesus.
Thank you, Lord, for the REAL luxuries in life...I am certainly not worthy, but very, very thankful!!

(And also, thank you for the new car.)

2011-03-03T11:02:00.000-05:00

I've decided that as my intentions may be great regarding blogging, my follow-through, not so much.
Maybe one day when I have a life-changing epiphany, or amazing news, or a funny story, or a delicious recipe, I will post to my blog.
Until then, I will remain absorbed in my family, education, and day-to-day tasks that keep my mind ever-so-occupied. And of course, when I sign on to my computer, I will visit several blogs of women that I admire, who make time to share their thoughts and follow through with their commitment to blog....who knows, maybe I'll get my epiphany there? After all, that's where I found this verse, and it brightened my day :)

Phil 4:8-9
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

What Do Your Words Say?

2011-01-23T15:05:00.004-05:00

I did my first rotation in L&D (labor and delivery) Friday, and participated in my very first delivery!!
It was a joy, to be involved in coaching and encouraging this very young mom; stressful, to observe the way the very young dad acted out when we weren't doing what he thought we should; painful, to witness changes that happen to a woman's body during labor and delivery of even the smallest of babies; and tough to administer an injection to a 20 minute old human being. The feeling in the room went from calm, to intense, to hurried, to urgent, to emotional, to calm again. I have been very confident that this is the type of nurse I want to be. I want to work with women, more specifically pregnant women, and I was so excited about this rotation.
Some time during my day on Friday I began wondering, "Is this something I'm cut out for? Will I be able to do this? Am I able to handle all of these different elements? Why does something I'm so passionate about seem so daunting all of the sudden?" I started to doubt myself, my abilities to work in this environment, why did I feel this way? Was it the complete competency of the seasoned nurse I was working with? Or simply that it was something so new, so unfamiliar, that I didn't feel ready.
Some where between thinking I would go home and have a good cry and finishing my tasks, the nurse I had been working with asked me what type of nursing I wanted to get into.
I nervously laughed, "Well I DID want to do this, L&D."
She said, "I think you'd be great in labor and delivery."
I was taken aback, "You DO?"
"Yep. You have a really good way about you. It would be fitting."
Suddenly, I began to wonder if what she was saying could be true. Is this what God really intends for my nursing career? Will I be prepared, some day, to handle this on my own?
I'm so thankful that she reached out and extended that compliment to me, it's just what I needed to hear at that moment.

Never underestimate the power your words can have on someone.

"Words kill, words give life;
they're either poison or fruit—you choose." (Proverbs 18:21, The Message)

2011-01-17T10:49:00.000-05:00

Tonight I am meeting with an old friend, and possibly making some new one's!
It's my first women's group in a long time and I am so excited!!
I'm certain that God is up to something and I'm thankful to be a part of it all....

Today will be laid back. Alexa is home from school and we started the day with breakfast and a few card games. I'll work out, clean up, do laundry, read, and bake something for tonight.
Roast is in the Crockpot.

The only thing that could make this day better is if my sweet husband was home.
But then again, so thankful for his great job and the fulfillment it brings him :)

Happy day!

Tea Time

2011-01-15T22:10:00.000-05:00

I decided to give up coffee.
Coffee is--my weakness.
It is the lure to get out of bed.
The excuse for my crabbiness in the morning, until I have it.
My habit at Tim Horton's.
My affinity toward any Target with a mini Starbucks.
My $1 at Baxter's on Sunday.
The reason for whitening toothpaste.
The cause of an afternoon headache today, caffeine withdrawals, ugh.

I have a problem with the fact that I have this addiction.
So to prove to myself, Starbucks, Mr. Horton, and my Cuisinart on-demand coffee pot, that I can over-power the java...
I quit.
Not forever.
Until...it is no longer a habit.

I am fasting from the cup (or four) o' joe.
Instead I will--wake up to a hot cup of chai.
Delight in the taste of green tea in the afternoon.
Wind down with a relaxing cup of chamomile in the evening.

Here's to self control!! ;)

The Author of Everything....

2011-01-10T07:27:00.001-05:00

Today is my first day back to school...and my last semester!!
I will have five weeks of ob/gyn; five weeks- pediatrics; five weeks- management; then suddenly it's time to graduate!
This road has been exciting, difficult, stressful, trying, enlightening, rewarding, challenging, and self-revealing. Graduating nursing school will be one of the major defining moments of my life. A moment that I never dreamed of, hoped for, or desired, to be honest, until I re-entered college in August of 2007 at the age of 30. My step-dad prompted me to take a big step and go back to school. He specifically advised me to go to nursing school; he was VERY persistent and made it a point of conversation whenever we talked which was quite often at the time. Around the same time I had looked to a more seasoned, wiser woman as a mentor. She just so happened to be fresh out of nursing school, so I picked her brain about it. She told me, "If I can make it through nursing school, you certainly can make it." I hung onto those words, though I knew how brilliant and committed this woman was, and following in her shoes would be no small feat.
It's funny how God made sure that two people in my life were encouraging me in the same way, at the same time, which would lead me to this day, less than four months from graduation day. I never dreamed of being a nurse. But God is the author of my life and He whispered something to my heart just over three years ago that I accepted as my journey, and I can't imagine my life without this experience. Let me reiterate: it's not easy, and I don't anticipate the job being so either. However, I have a passion to learn and grow in nursing, and I know that because God put me up to this, there must be great things on the horizon!

"The author of everything is watching over me." Maddy Ross in the movie True Grit

2011-01-06T11:31:00.001-05:00

I woke up with a throbbing headache, and a semi-sore throat, so......I will whip up a big batch of vegetable beef soup and kick my immune system into over-drive! Ask Michael & Alexa--I'm a firm believer in the healing power of soup, so anytime someone in this house is sick, out comes the soup pot, olive oil, fresh garlic, veggies galore, and meat...soup is on!

Stacy's Vegetable Beef Soup

1 1/2 lbs boneless beef short ribs
several "drizzles" of EVOO
6 cloves of garlic, minced
1 small onion, chopped
1 leek, sliced
1/4 head of cabbage, chopped
3 medium carrots, sliced
one bunch of asparagus, cut into 3rds from the tip down (being sure not to use the tough ends)
1 green pepper, chopped
1 cup baby spinach
1/2 can beans, rinsed (I used black eye peas)
All natural vegetable juice (42 oz can)
All natural, unsalted, beef stock (32 oz carton)
Dried herbs, approx. 1/4 tsp each: marjoram, oregano, parsley. 1/8 tsp. thyme
kosher salt, fresh ground pepper, garlic powder, to taste

Flavor meat with garlic and pepper.
Use large skillet, over medium-high heat, swirl with EVOO, brown meat on both sides (about 3 mins each). Once browned, pour about 1/2 cup of beef stock into pan, cover, turn to low heat, and simmer 20 mins.
In the meantime, swirl soup pot, Dutch Oven, or large sauce pan with EVOO.
Over low-medium heat add garlic, onion, and leek. Cook about 3 mins.
Add the rest of the vegetables, cook for about 10 mins. (Just to warm & steam the veggies, they will still be firm)
By now the meat should be done. Take the cover off and let it rest for about 5 mins.
Slice the meat into bite-sized chunks
Scrape the bottom of the pan and pour all of the drippings over the veggies.
Add the meat to veggie mix.
Pour 1/2 the carton of stock, and 1/2 the can of veggie juice over the veggies and beef.
Add the beans.
Add the herbs, and salt, pepper, garlic to taste, stir.
If needed add more stock, or juice to desired taste and consistency. (I prefer very hearty soups, so I limit the amount of broth...I guess this is what Rachael Ray has defined as "stoup", stew/soup!)
Bring to a boil, then cover and lower heat to simmer 30 mins.

Serve with crusty, multi-grain baguettes, or bread....
Enjoy :)

It's never just about the sauce...

2011-01-04T13:10:00.001-05:00

Alexa often helps make dinner by spicing things up; something about shaking spices into sauces, onto meat, and over potatoes just thrills my little one!

Today, while stirring rosemary into the spaghetti sauce she said,

"Mom. Before you die I need you to write down this recipe for me. I need you to write down all of your recipes, this sauce, your cookies, you know everything. Because one day I want my kids to help me make the same things I made with you."

Me: "Should I write them down tonight?" (Trying to illicit a response from her that would suggest I had MANY years to go.)

Alexa: "No, you have.........way too many recipes to write down."

Nevertheless, she melted my heart!! Knowing that such a simple task could create such a lasting memory, will keep me focused on those little moments in our life, being certain to treasure them.

a few tid-bits about me...

2011-01-03T14:42:00.001-05:00

I....

floss every night
wear sunscreen on my face every day
drink 2 cups of 1/2 caff with low fat milk each morning
wash my hair every other day
make a list for just about everything and I'm a fanatic about marking things off
use an old-fashioned, paper calendar
am not afraid to get older, with it comes much wisdom
could bake every day
love smelling fresh laundry while I fold
think of my brother Bryan every single day
listen to Joyce Meyer online while I put my make up on
love going to book stores
despise pumping gas (thankfully my husband has taken over this task ;)
would rather be really hot than freezing cold
wear socks with slippers during the winter (hence, my prior comment :)
don't like clicking over to the other line during a conversation
forget to text people back, a lot
love going to the movies
think a hot drink & shopping go together
would be in an ugly place without God's grace!!

Under Construction

2011-01-02T21:28:00.000-05:00

I was getting very frustrated trying to design a new blog page that really captured my personality, ugh!!
I was "under construction" for a week or so, but wasn't getting any where with my design.
So, with that said, I'm back on with a plain jane eggplant colored blog, that just so happens to be the color I like best at the moment...
Happy New Year!

Alexa's 9th birthday

2010-12-16T10:22:00.004-05:00

Tomorrow night is Alexa's 9th birthday party!! Her very first slumber party! She is so excited!!
Here's what it looks like so far:

4 friends staying overnight, another coming to hang out until 11pm.
Making homemade "Grandma Haver-style" pizza! (homemade pizza dough, shaped onto a jelly roll pan, topped with homemade marinara sauce, lots of mozzarella, and pepperoni--the smell of pizza baking in my house will bring back childhood memories, I'm certain :)
Cupcake sundaes (I will make yellow cake cupcakes and the girls will top them with their choice of ice cream, whip cream, chocolate, butterscotch, mini m&m's, crushed oreos---this idea came from my cousin Lisa's blog :) I'm adding the ice cream and additional toppings for extra messiness ;)
A yet-to-be-determined craft
Movie (not yet determined) & fresh popped popcorn with REAL butter & salt
Saturday a.m Michael & I will wake, completely rested from a full night of glorious sleep (doubtful) to make pancakes and wait for parents to pick up the girls at 10a.m.

Then it's on to the family party at 1p.m., complete with cake & ice cream :)

10 things.

2010-12-08T21:37:00.001-05:00

I am beyond excited that we are heading into the home stretch!!
I have less than 5 months until graduation, wow!
I have learned so much, and a lot of it doesn't have anything to do with patient care.

A quick list of ten things I learned:

I am obsessed with checking things off of a list. I will even add something that I did to a list so that I can check it off...weird, I know.
I have a new found respect for people who sit at a computer for extended periods of time. It hurts your back, strains your eyes, and speeds up time. ("Eight hours of paper work?? I thought I was only in there for a couple of hours!")
Printer ink is overpriced.
Taking time to do the things I enjoy (even if I have school work to do) is so important for the soul.
Grocery shopping is much better when you buy in bulk, who has time to visit Meijer more than once in a week?
Nursing school does not define me, yet I will have a new "title" once I'm done...Stacy Fencil, RN...has a nice ring :)
My family is AMAZING! I have been blessed beyond measure by the sacrifices that have been made by others on my behalf!
Owing money in order to earn a degree is WORTH IT!
I thoroughly love weekend days spent lounging!!
God wants me to count on Him, even in the small things.

I've Had a Broken Leg (or Two)

2010-11-23T18:02:00.002-05:00

I was brought to tears yesterday listening to Joyce Meyer's message.
A beautiful, love-inspiring, grace-filled picture of God....
You know the one. Jesus with a lamb draped around his neck.
But do you know the story behind the picture?
Most people are familiar with the story of the "one". The "one" lamb that strayed.
Jesus will leave the ninety-nine to go after the "one", Luke 15:3-7: The Parable of the Lost Sheep.
Joyce elaborated on that story yesterday in her message.

You see, when a shepherd felt a sheep was "rebellious and would not follow the shepherd", the shepherd did the unthinkable.....He broke the legs of the lamb, and carried it around his neck until its legs were healed.

It was THEN that the lamb became so accustomed to being with the shepherd, needing the shepherd, that the lamb would never wander again--it stayed by the side of its master.

God, in His mercy, will stop at nothing to get our attention. After all, He sent His one and only son Jesus to save us.

Have your legs been broken yet?

(To listen to the original message from Joyce Meyer, visit this link http://www.joycemeyer.org/ourministries/broadcast Click on "watch today's message", then choose the message from 11/18/10. The referenced story begins around minute 16:30)

TOP TEN........

2010-11-22T16:26:00.005-05:00

.....things that make me smile :)

Cozy AE Sweatpants
Victoria's Secret knee-high sock slippers
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
Christmas music
Making dinner
Baking chocolate chip cookies
Relaxing nights at home
My daughter's smile
My husband's embrace
God's grace

Time Out

2010-11-09T18:50:00.001-05:00

Landed in the ER Saturday in PAIN! I've had this before, with flare ups for the past year and a half, but nothing like this!! So....
Had to have the ol' gall bladder removed on Sunday....who knew it could cause so much grief!?
Mine was attached to my colon....
Update soon.
Until then it's time to recover, I have nursing school to worry about.

2010-11-04T20:32:00.001-04:00

Just five clinical days left until Thanksgiving break, and then only four more until this semester is complete.
I worked with an RN today who told me that it will feel like I don't know what I'm doing for at least a full year after I've started working as a nurse. Ugh.
She also mentioned that she had diarrhea every day during her second year of nursing school...well, I sure am glad that my nerves have been under control!
It is by the grace of God, and I don't say that lightly!!

Thank you Lord for your constant guidance, encouragement, love, grace, mercy, and blessings!!

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

RN-to-be

2010-11-01T21:18:00.042-04:00

I have an intense focus on May 2011. Such a short time has to pass in order for me to be a graduate nurse on her way to state licensure...
I have my eyes glued on the prize!!

But....I have a confession to make. Up until a week ago it was hard for me to imagine being a nurse. I had this feeling that it was a profession meant for a lot of people, uncertain if I was actually one of them. Then something clicked. I came to the realization that there is likely no one who is completely prepared for the career that they are studying to be a part of. I feel this constant (ridiculous) need to know everything there is to know about the human body, and nursing. (Yet close to nothing sticks in my brain long after the test on the subject is completed.) As if in order to be a nurse, this is a must. An echo in my mind that says, "know it, or you'll blow it."
I decided it's likely that God wired me in this way-to thirst for knowledge regarding my field of study. I have an intense desire to have as much knowledge on a particular subject as I possibly can, which to me, means that I will probably be best suited for nursing in a specific area that I'm interested in...like women's health/ob-gyn/labor and delivery/mother and baby, etc. And one day, soon, I will be a nurse. And God will open doors for me to enter into this field, and I WILL be prepared.
So, I press on toward my goal of graduation. Each step I take, every small goal accomplished, I'm one day closer to experiencing life as a nurse.
God has been with me thus far, and I know He will see me through to that day...until the day I say....

2 Timothy 4:7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."...I graduated nursing school!!

really??

2010-10-27T17:02:00.001-04:00

I faxed a copy of my marriage license to my health insurance company today so that I could have my name changed on my policy and receive new cards.
The woman helping me called me back tell me that she can't change my name because my marriage license doesn't reflect my new last name.......really??
I returned her call and explained to her in a nice way that marriage licenses don't literally reflect a name change; however, it is implied that once the two people are joined in marriage the woman takes (or can take) the man's last name. She insisted that it should still show it on there, and that she simply couldn't change my name. She did say that she still sent it up to the "policy people" and they can look it over; she'll call me to let me know what they say.
That's funny. The local and federal governments both acknowledged my marriage license and changed my name on my enhanced driver's license and social security card; not to mention my life insurance carrier, financial aid office, and school all changed my name by viewing my marriage license.
Go figure.
Oh well, she'll realize how to handle it when her supervisor fills her in.
I'm still smiling, because I AM married and I DID take my husband's last name, even if she doesn't think so!! :)

Because HE loves ME

2010-10-25T06:57:00.007-04:00

Psalm 91:9-16 NIV

"If you make the Most High your dwelling-even the Lord, who is my refuge-then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. "Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

A snippet of scripture that testifies to the faithfulness of God. These are some of the many promises which God has made to us. I have experienced this favor, time and time again. I have felt the hand of God move to bless me. In hindsight, this brings me such satisfaction and joy, not simply because of the blessing I received, but because I know that God knows that I love Him!! God's word in this passage begins with, "because he loves me"....and then He pours out his blessings.

God's promise. My blessing.
A friend of mine once told me that because I chose to focus on my love for God, and continue to seek Him when things weren't looking so good in my life on the outside, God honored me by blessing me with the desires of my heart. Her words echo in my mind regularly. Upon reading this passage, I can now see through God's word that my friend was confirming what God had promised to me, to YOU.

Love God. He is waiting to show you favor and fulfill His promises to YOU.

Sunday

2010-10-24T09:19:00.003-04:00

Something has got a hold on me today....
Maybe it's the slightest bit of imbalance that's been looming the past few days. On any given week I am extremely busy with a lot of school work, and out of the house often at class or clinicals, then on the weekends I get a reprieve.
However, this past week I didn't have clinicals, and since Friday, Alexa and I have been in the house because she isn't feeling well, while Michael has been working all weekend on a roofing job.
Today, Michael will be gone again, and I am not going to church, which is something I look forward to on a weekly basis with great anticipation of worship and the teaching of God's word. Trunk or Treat is tonight at our church and I'm not so sure taking a sick little girl out in the cold, and possibly wet weather, is such a good idea. I know, you don't get sick from being in the cold, but when you already are sick, being cold and wet equals misery.
SHE thinks she's fine, of course. I, however, am not so sure.
So here I sit, ready to grab another cup of coffee and turn on Joyce Meyer's daily message...

2010-10-22T16:47:00.004-04:00

A Glimpse of Today:

1. Took Alexa to the doctor's: she has a fever, dizziness, sore throat & a croup-like cough
2. Mejier to pick up her prescription for amoxicillin--free, thanks to Meijer's philanthropy
3. Target to get ibuprofen, acetaminophen, Mucinex, a thermometer and a slurpee--not free
4. Kroger to get the fixin's to make chicken noodle soup (of course!), Jell-O and berry sherbert
5. Family Video to get a few movies for the next couple of days on the couch
6. Home to administer said meds, make said soup, watch said movies, and lay on said couch

Lesson: I went from a day off of clinicals, to a day home taking care of my baby.
Better than any other nursing I know!! :)

2010-10-22T07:04:00.002-04:00

I've been feeling the need to start over...with my blog, that is.
So many times I hear a great message, read an inspirational story, or find encouragement in a simple way and want to remember it...problem is, I often feel too busy to jot down my thoughts. With that being said, I am going to initiate a sort of self discipline in order to direct my thoughts appropriately, here it is--I'm signing off of facebook for one month and focusing on my blog. Though I enjoy facebook, I find that it "sucks me in" and distracts me from things that would otherwise be my focus. (I will sign onto facebook only if there is something that is important to post on my nursing school class of 2011 group page.)
So it's "goodbye facebook", "hello blog"...let's see how I fare!
Enjoy this Friday, it finally looks like it's fall, my very favorite season!

****

2009-11-03T15:40:00.003-05:00

I forgot how to post on my blog...I'm exaggerating of course, but it's been awhile!
I'm juggling a lot of things right now; wearing a lot of hats. But I'm thoroughly enjoying life, and the blessings that come with it!
I will be diligent about posting more, I love reading about different times in my life through the "eyes of my blog".

www.joycemeyer.org is my favorite site right now! When I need a refreshing, Godly message, I tune in to her broadcasts and fill my soul with inspiration! With all that is going on in my life on a daily basis, this truly is a blessing to me; something that I look forward to :)

~Stacy

Nuts!

2009-08-21T09:32:00.002-04:00

I found a running trail at the local park. It works for me, although I'd rather be in Monroe on my "old" course; I miss it so much.
This new track is 1/2 mile around, so it takes 10 laps just to run 5 miles. Regardless, I've decided this is my best option, so I headed out today to run 30 minutes, before I did light weight training. As I started off, I remembered why it is that I sometimes loathe this trail. Squirrels. They're EVERYWHERE! Cute, cuddly little things....NO! They're fearless, and intrusive.
So this morning, a squirrel came out of the shadows into the very bright sunlight running straight toward me, which caused me to stumble and nearly trip! I decided to clap obnoxiously loud in order to scare these annoying creatures.
Again!! Another one, out of the shadow of the tree, right into my brightly lit path. At this point I'm infuriated because I can't just focus on my run, my music, my thoughts; I have to be worried about an ambush from a stinkin' squirrel.
I notice a woman walking, with her sunglasses, headphones, and a little sack. I think, "Hm, that's strange, she's exercising with a sack on her shoulder." So as I run past her in the opposite direction I notice a squirrel chomping on a peanut, the old fashioned elephant sort of peanut. Now, I'm no expert, but I know that those don't grow around here. I realize the lady is feeding the squirrels! SHE'S sabotaging my run!

As I passed her again, I asked,

"Are you feeding the squirrels?"

"Yes! (smile, very proud of herself)

I know I'm supposed to be "zipping it" this week, but I couldn't help but tell her,

"It makes it really tough on me because they think that I'm going to feed them."

"Oh," she says, "They think everybody is going to feed them." (giggle)

So, Squirrel Lady, please, refrain from feeding the squirrels next time. If you'd like to make squirrel friends, find a nice park bench and sit down, I'm certain they'll come to you.

to-do

2009-08-10T09:45:00.003-04:00

Enroll Alexa in school
Above requires a physical...doc can't get us in until AFTER, so may have to go to the clinic
Sign her up for soccer & gymnastics
Apply for a passport (needed for half marathon)
Get oil changed
Credit union to cash check, and cash in coins
Purchase books for school
Odds & ends for Granny
Obtain new car insurance
Go to the Monroe house to pick up Margie's tables, my TV, and a couple other things
Hang pictures
Do laundry
Purchase a table cloth for my new "free" table, and also curtains for my bedroom (the cheap blinds allow for a peep show for the neighborhood at night when my light is on, didn't realize this until I already lived here for 3 weeks!! Yikes!)
Calls...
Shoes for school, and shoes for running
Find an ortho for Alexa, soon
Dad wants me to bring my car over for repairs
Read over my A & P, and pharmacology books to refresh my memory

That's enough for the week, don't ya think?

Random

2009-08-04T00:16:00.003-04:00

Spent most of the day doing odd jobs:

Cleaning a friend's dad's house.
Cutting the grass.
Vacuuming mattresses.
Grocery shopping at 9 pm.
Eating dinner at 9:30 pm.
Working out at 11:30 pm.
Blogging at 12:20 am
Wondering how my day turned out so...????

Dad's coming to take a look at the washer on Wednesday...my dad is Mr. Fix It, and the mere thought of me needing to BUY a new washer sent him into "I Can Do Anything" mode.
Pray for a CHEAP fixin' of the ole washin' machine!

Updates

2009-08-02T23:18:00.002-04:00

I know I haven't blogged in awhile!

Quick updates:

Moved on July 12th...has it been that long already??

Vacationed up north July 25th through July 30th...niiice!!

Still getting settled into the new house...need to hang pictures, and organize a bit.

Need a new washing machine...mine took a poop :( Looks like the laundromat is going to become a way of life 'til I can get a new one.

Started training for the half marathon...still need a passport! (Because we cross over into Canada, this year it's required)

School meeting August 13th, classes begin August 27th...still need health insurance, a physical, drug screen, and shoes.

Often wondering what my purpose in this life is, and WHEN God is going to reveal that to me!

Small grace: Laughing with Alexa about a silly youtube video that we saw...

Sick and tired.

2009-07-15T16:28:00.004-04:00

I'm kind of overwhelmed from the move...with that I've also been SO tired. I know I just moved and all, but I'm eating, and sleeping pretty good.
Feeling blah, now realize that I have a low-grade fever...this isn't the time to be sick.

Shoot!

2009-07-14T09:18:00.001-04:00

My mattresses that have been in storage needed to air out a bit. So I put them outside overnight last night, and prayed that it wouldn't rain.....
I was excited to wake up and find out that it hadn't rained last night, but bummed when I looked out back to see that my mattresses were soaked anyhow....the sprinkler system came on this morning!!

>>>>

2009-07-13T13:24:00.002-04:00

We're here!!
Just a quick update...we are moved in and in the process of unpacking and finding a place for all of our stuff.
Have lots of little errands to run: Board of Ed. to sign Alexa up for school; Wal-Mart; phone place to get new, cheaper phone service; eventually back to Monroe to get a few things forgotten, and to clean the place.
We'll be super busy, but thankfully I have the time!!

****

2009-07-09T23:55:00.003-04:00

Signed my lease, got the keys, and cleaned our new place today!
I was excited by cleaning....funny, but since my current house is in such disarray, and my focus is not on cleaning but on packing, I feel misplaced. So there I was, in our new house, "nesting"...I enjoyed it!
I'm looking forward to nesting some more....off to bed for now!

....

2009-07-08T07:35:00.002-04:00

I am sad that I was so crabby yesterday....

I am overwhelmed a bit by the move, I guess.

I called DTE to start service at the new house. The lady told me that my social security number doesn't check out in the system; she said this must mean that I have never had a credit card in my name...hmm, which that were the truth!
Her suggestion was that I simply go to a DTE office with my soc card, and driver's license to "prove" my identity. The DTE offices are only located in DETROIT!! So, when am I supposed to have time for that?? Ugh.

Please pray for me today, that I feel peace filled, and that my words and actions line up with my heart. Also, for Alexa, that she, too, is peace filled, and that she feels content and happy as she moves from the only home that she remembers...

The two of us are heading out to breakfast this morning, going to kick off the day right :)

I need to saturate my mind and heart with this verse:

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Amen.

Packing....

2009-07-07T20:31:00.009-04:00

I'm working my fingers to the bone! Packing is for the birds! I'm already pooped....I hired Alexa to work for $2 an hour, but she only lasted an hour and 52 mins according to her time card! As you can see, she's taking a break! Lol!

We're moving...

2009-07-06T14:15:00.004-04:00

... Sunday!
Pack, pack, pack!

Things that I will miss:

The comfort that I felt here.
My big kitchen.
My running trail.
Our neighbors.
Quiet neighborhood.
Alexa's school.

Things that I WON'T miss:

The amount of time that I have to drive to get ANYWHERE!
My less-than-inviting basement.
Not having a patio or deck in the backyard.
Cleaning this house. (I'm scaling down 1000 square feet, not to mention 2 less bathrooms!)
Did I mention the drive?

Forgot to mention...not having central air!!!

I will certainly miss this house, I've lived here for almost 6 years. I'm turning over a new leaf in my life and I know that God's hand is guiding me; for that I am comforted.

Crazy Week!!

2009-07-04T07:21:00.003-04:00

Oh no! It's Saturday and we're not going to breakfast....this crazy week threw me off and I didn't contact everyone to make plans :(

So about this crazy week.....
Monday: Michael's brother Adam went to the house I planned on renting to give them an estimate on city inspection work that needed to be done. He called me after looking the house over and told me that he didn't feel it was a good idea at all to rent the place. I looked at paint colors and potential, he looked at structural issues. I really trust his expertise on the subject, so I emailed the homeowners and told them that I didn't feel signing the lease would be the best choice for me at this time, that there are several big issues which need to be addressed by the city in order to obtain a C of O, and that I wasn't comfortable moving in without knowing the exact circumstances and time frame in which this would take place. Legitimate, right?? Well, here is a sample of what she sent back to me in 2 different emails:

" WHAT??????????????? If this causes an inconvenience???? Apparently you do not understand how much grief you are causing us.....
My faith in "good people" has severely diminished.
Thank you for teaching us that we can not trust anyone upfront & immediately---this is a hard taught lesson that will save us in the long run......
Thank You so much for not signing the lease. I can see that this would have been a train wreck dealing with this sort of behavior for a year.
You just did MY family the biggest favor and for this I owe you a big "THANK YOU"."

I think I'm the one who should be doing the thanking...she seems like a drama queen!
This was a complete blessing. God protected us from potential problems in the home, and insanity from the homeowner!

Onto the next issue--I need to find a place!

Tuesday: Went by the house one last time. Decided to drive through the neighborhood, but I only had a few minutes. Drove down ONE street that was close to the elementary. Saw two little signs in a window "For Rent". Hit the brakes, backed up, pulled into the drive, and had Alexa read off the phone number to me. Called immediately as I drove away, and asked to see the home. She wanted me to call her Wednesday to schedule for the afternoon.

Wednesday: Off to work with Michael at the office. I had a project: hand address 440 invitation envelopes (which I had already completed a bulk of), stuff, seal, and stamp. Worked from 7am til noon. I had called and left a message for the homeowner (Nancy) to see the house, but hadn't heard back from her yet. I was starting to panic a bit because I REALLY wanted to see this house. Left Auburn Hills, met my realtor at a home that she found for rent in a slightly different area of Dearborn. The house was....awful. Ugh. While I was saying good bye to Angela, I noticed an incoming call from Nancy. She had been calling the wrong area code all morning. So I told her I'd be right over. Called Mom real quick and she said she'd meet us over there. The three of us toured the house, and although it's plain, it looked great! I wanted it. I took the application to Mom's and filled it out, returning it about 45 minutes later. On my way home, which was about an hour after that, I drove by once more to look at it, and saw some people looking at the home. Aaah! Panic!
Nancy called me that evening, and asked if I was serious about my desire to rent, because the people she had shown the house to that night had expressed sincere interest, but she had a "first come, first to rent" rule, and my application was turned in first....by 2 hours!
Yes, yes, yes! I'm interested.

Thursday: Picked Alexa up in the afternoon so that I could take her over and show her the house. She liked it! Especially when Nancy walked us down to her own home and showed us the 6 raccoons that she was rehabilitating for the DNR! I gave her all of my paperwork, which she would review and let me know. Waiting, waiting....
We went to Bobbi and Jay's with a bunch of other friends for a BBQ and fireworks. Fun!

Friday: Nancy calls in the morning with a few questions. Then she tells me that she feels my application is good, and that she called my references, and asked if I would like to bring a deposit over. Yay! So we get ready for the day. Me, Alexa, and Michael head over to Nancy's, drop off my money, and decide on a lease date of July 15th. We're moving in less than 2 weeks!
The 3 of us went to a late lunch, delicious! Headed out to Elizabeth Park for a visit, stopped to get ice cream afterward, and then went to see the movie Up!. So cute!

All in all we are renting a MUCH nicer home, with a very friendly landlady, a beautiful yard, an extra bedroom, new carpet, and peace of mind!

God is good...closing one door, and opening another. In His loving care, He knew what would be best for us!

BTW, I'm looking for a small cafe/bistro style table for my new kitchen. Let me know if anyone has something or knows of someone who does. :) Thanks!

2009-06-29T07:21:00.002-04:00

Well, the garage sale wasn't quite what I wanted it to be. I sold about half of my "stuff", when I wanted to sell ALL of it; I didn't want to have to pack it all up to move it. I did make a little bit of money, which will certainly be useful. I MAY decide to have another sale this Friday. We'll see.

If everything works out the way I think it should ;) then I'll be signing my lease for July 7th. I will then take the next 4 days to clean and paint. That Saturday I will be busy at my aunt's bridal shower, and Michael's work party, so I'm planning the official move date for Sunday the 12th. Alexa already has dibs on riding in the UHaul!

Once we're moved, I need to change my address on my license ASAP, so that I can apply for health insurance for which I have to be a Wayne County resident (oh, the perks of living in Wayne County!); and register Alexa for school. I will have a plethora of businesses, and people to change my address with as well; and I will need to register for utilities in my name.

We will have about a month before we start school, to "relax" a bit and live out the rest of the summer.....

Daily Bread

2009-06-23T15:44:00.005-04:00

In anticipation of GREAT sales at my garage sale this week, I went out and bought a new pair of running shoes. I "fronted" myself the money that I figured I would make at my sale.

Shortly after, I got my daily devotional that goes to my email. It's from a pastor named Joseph Prince, someone that Michael has always admired. He quoted the Lord's prayer saying, "Give us this day our daily bread." Pastor Prince went on to say that today's daily bread is not for tomorrow, and tomorrow's bread is not for today. The Lord provides what we need WHEN we need it.
I felt convicted, in a way that was a learning experience for me. So I returned my shoes to the store, and I will WAIT until after my garage sale, to see if God provides for my shoes. The concept of waiting doesn't always sit well with me, and I don't think I'm alone judging by the looks of the country in which we live, but God's way is best.

I am thankful for this lesson, and I have decided to ask myself before spending money, "Is this today's or tomorrow's bread?"

Today’s Bread Is Not For Tomorrow
Pastor Joseph Prince

Matthew 6:11 Give us this day our daily bread.
Doctors have discovered that worry, stress, fear and anxiety can cause stomach ulcers, high blood pressure and other health problems. The Bible says that a merry heart does good like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones. (Proverbs 17:22) It also says that God wants us to prosper and be in health, even as our soul prospers. (3 John 1:2)

When our church was much smaller, I used to worry a lot about my sermons weeks before I even preached them! I was so stressed that I developed symptoms in my body. Two doctors checked me on separate days and found my blood pressure to be very high. Other tests found traces of blood in my urine. I even had mild panic attacks. I believe that the devil was trying to undermine my ministry and destroy me.

But praise God, He delivered and healed me, and taught me not to worry. Today, the church is a lot bigger and I have learnt by the grace of God not to worry. The verse that set me free was this: “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow…” (Matthew 6:34) You see, if you worry about tomorrow, you are trying to live tomorrow today!

My friend, God does not want you to do that. Jesus taught us to pray, “Give us this day our daily bread.” He did not say, “Give us this day our weekly bread.” God gives us daily bread, not weekly bread. God doesn’t give tomorrow’s bread today. And today’s bread is not meant for tomorrow!

This means that God wants you to live today and not worry about what will happen or what you have to do tomorrow. He gives you sufficient grace for today, not tomorrow.

“But Pastor Prince, I have a very important presentation to give tomorrow!”

Beloved, when tomorrow comes, the bread — provision and grace — will be there. I am not advocating laziness and inactivity. By all means, do your homework, but don’t worry about it. Just trust the One who wants you to give Him all your cares (1 Peter 5:7), and enjoy His peace and life today!

Weekend Plans

2009-06-20T07:59:00.004-04:00

Good Morning!
Today is going to be pretty busy!

Heading to a soccer event at 10am....

Then over to the Schossau's for Nathaniel and Evelyn's birthday party at 1pm....

After that, we'll drive to Dearborn to Michael's brother and sister-in-law's place for Evin's birthday party....I'll leave there for a about an hour to meet with the owners of my new rental....then head back to the party.

(Somewhere in there, I'm going to swing by Margie's to pick up HER garage sale tables, for MY garage sale next weekend!)

Then when I get home, I need to bake cookies for Father's Day; I've already mixed all of the appropriate dry ingredients (flour, baking soda, and salt; brown sugars and white sugar) and put them into 2 Ziploc bags, so that when I get home late tonight it won't take as much time.

(I'm bummed that we're not doing our Saturday breakfast this morning, but I think I'll make up for it!)

Tomorrow is Father's Day....Michael, Alexa and I are meeting my dad, sis Liz, and brother Brent for breakfast at Bob Evan's (see, I told ya!).

Alexa's dad is picking her up so that she can spend Father's Day with him. Then the rest of us are heading over to the cemetery to visit my brother Bryan, and Michael's Uncle Bob.

Eventful weekend; exciting to see so much family!!
Monday, it's back to the grindstone for my garage sale....

2009-06-18T08:31:00.008-04:00

My house is a disaster area! I usually maintain a pretty neat living space, it's what makes me happy and peaceful.

But, when one decides to move and have a garage sale, one's living space can no longer be expected to be pristine! I have given up on the neat look, and I'm going for something a bit more, well, shall I say frazzled??

It completely goes against me, my personality, my desire. I have to see this as a work in progress, and that this is not the "be all end all" of my way of living.

Once I have my sale, and begin moving, get settled into our new place, I can strive for the neat space that I so long for right now!

So, I continue on living, even amongst the chaos; ignoring every single out of place item that I step over, each messed up room that I peak into, the overflowing table that I realize was once meant for dinners, and the garbage bags of donations, and I live on.....it's not for forever.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

Re: Monday's list
I still have to CLEAN THE CAR, TAKE GRANNY FOR HER HAIR APPOINTMENT, AND ENROLL IN HEALTH INSURANCE, also, my ongoing garage sale project. Not bad considering I have 2 days left in the week!

2009-06-15T08:37:00.006-04:00

To do list for the week (in no particular order):

1. Organize/clean for garage sale
2. Vacuum/clean car
3. Cut grass
4. Make appointment for Granny to get a haircut/take her
5. Enroll in health insurance plan
6. Return movies to Blockbuster
7. Buy flea treatments for Sam & Mya
8. Buy new running shoes
9. Clean Granny's
10. Grocery store (milk, bananas, lunch meat)

Update: I cut the grass, cleaned Granny's, ordered new running shoes, and just about finished rummaging through the kitchen for the garage sale.
I'll work on the rest of the list tomorrow!

It's Sunday...

2009-06-14T21:15:00.003-04:00

I enjoyed waking up this morning to go out on a 5 mile run. I couldn't make it to church because Alexa had her gymnastics recital, so I decided to run this morning.
I don't generally work out at all on Sundays, I use it as a true day of rest. Something about the day, Sunday, it is the laziest feeling day of the entire week. No matter how much, or how little I do, I end up feeling exhausted, and, well, pretty lazy by mid-day. God said "rest", and I think He meant it!!
My run was great! I got ready, and by the time Michael made it to my house at about 10:30 we headed over to her recital. She did a fantastic job, I'm so proud of her! She went with her dad afterwards, and Michael and I headed back to my house to enjoy a quiet afternoon. We had Cracker Barrel as a late lunch/early dinner, went to Kohl's to do some shopping, to Danny's for a frozen custard, then back home again to relax.
He headed back to Dearborn. I'll be off to bed soon, 10 o'clock most likely. Just had my nighttime snack, a bowl of Cinnamon Life tonight, and I plan on doing a heavy dose of reading before bed.
I don't think God intended too much rest on Mondays, so tomorrow it's back to my task of spring cleaning in June for my upcoming garage sale.

Saturday Plans

2009-06-13T07:33:00.002-04:00

Good morning!
Getting ready to head out to Alexa's soccer game!
But first, we're stopping at Bob Evan's for hot coffee, and yummy breakfast!
Then off to the game....not sure what we're going to do after that yet, movie, shopping, visiting?? Tonight Alexa is going to her dad's.
Tomorrow is Alexa's gymnastics recital, so no church for us. Monday she's going to Cedar Point for the first, and certainly not the last, time this year. She's very excited!
As long as the rain holds off, it should be a great day!

We're moving....almost!

2009-06-11T21:53:00.002-04:00

Well, it's almost official, Alexa and I are planning on moving.

I found a house in Dearborn. A cute little house, perfect for the two of us! The family that lives there now, and owns the home, is moving to Chicago because of employment. A husband and wife, and 2 kids; I met with them about a week and a half ago. They wanted to have the place rented out by July 1st, but I didn't think that was feasible for me, so I politely thanked them and put it out of my mind.

They contacted me by email, and said that they were so interested in having me rent from them, that they would hold out until the end of the summer for me. Wow, don't I feel special!

A couple of twists and turns later, it looks like we'll be moving in the first or second week of July. Nothing like feeling the need to hit the proverbial gas and get a move on it! Whew! I'm overwhelmed, but excited at the same time!

I MUST clear this house of anything that isn't essential to my current (meaning possibly the next 2 years) state of need. I WILL have a garage sale within the next two weekends, and there are some pieces of furniture that need to go, along with odds and ends, clothes, decor, toys (Alexa has already offered to sell all of her Barbies, I assured her that wouldn't be necessary), and anything else that could fetch me a buck or two!

My new house will be pretty different than my current.

I currently live in a 2000 square foot colonial, with a family room, dining room, large eat in kitchen, dining room, 4 bedrooms, 2 full baths, a powder room, two car garage with upstairs storage, large basement, country porch, fire place, and 9 foot ceilings.

My possible new house is a 900 square foot ranch (MUCH less to clean!! Yay!), with a "Michigan basement" (if you've had one you know what I mean!), 2 tiny bedrooms that are adjoined by a teeny tiny bathroom, a small front room, dining room, decent sized kitchen, and a family room, with vaulted ceilings, that overlooks the play scape in the backyard, and a one car garage that served as a music studio (this means that my car will not be parked in the garage). There is a small deck, and a quaint backyard, that is graced by several huge, beautiful hot pink rose bushes.

The living area in this house is what attracted me to it; the kitchen is fully open to the family room, which means it will be an easy way for Alexa and I to be together most of the time. Me: cooking; Alexa: doing homework. Me: studying; Alexa: playing. Wonderful!

Another neat thing, Alexa will attend 2nd grade at the same elementary school I attended from 3rd through 6th grade! She thinks that this is very cool, and hopes to run into a teacher that I may have had, although I'm not sure if any will be there...it was 22 years ago!! Wow!

The home has a lot of character, which I love. It's unique. And I will make it our own, for the time we're there.

Please pray for our transition. Financially, socially, academically, mentally!!

2009-06-10T09:11:00.003-04:00

Alexa's last day of school!! I'm so excited to have her home with me!
Enjoying the change in weather!
I'm working on lightening our load over here....clearing out some things to have a garage sale VERY soon!
Trying to organize: clothes, papers, drawers, etc.
Praying for God's blessings regarding a possible move to Dearborn: finances, location, school for Alexa, ....

Matthew 6:34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

2009-06-01T10:06:00.003-04:00

I haven't necessarily felt like blogging lately, but I am very happy, and feeling very loved!
God is great, all the time, and He holds my future in His hands!

Enjoy today!

2009-05-25T21:40:00.002-04:00

We had a great day at Bobbi and Jay's. Ate too much, had lots of fun, and now we're nestled in for the night.

As I get ready to head to bed, I remember the mother who is not far from my home. The mom who is grieving. The mom that will not get to kiss her daughter good night, and tuck her in. The mom that won't wake up to get her daughter ready for school in the morning. The mom that does not know if and when she will ever see her little girl again.

Please pray for this mom, and her family....

Psalm 34:18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Lord, hear our prayers...

2009-05-25T07:47:00.000-04:00

A 5 year old girl was abducted yesterday evening in Monroe. Her name is Neviaeh Amyah Buchanan. She is 3'8" tall, 45 pounds, brown hair, brown eyes. She was last seen at 8:15pm near her home, wearing a red, white, and blue striped shirt, and denim capris. Her bike was found in an apartment parking lot, about 5 blocks from my house. The news reports that they are almost certain she was abducted and that she is in extreme danger.

My 7 year old girl was playing outside last night, in the back of our house with her baby dolls. I am shaken knowing that this could have been my daughter who was taken...

Please pray for this little girl. Her family. And her abductor. That this person would find it in their heart to let go of this little girl, unharmed.

A Loving Message from Jesus

2009-05-24T07:18:00.005-04:00

Matthew 5:1-11

The Beatitudes

Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them saying:

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

Saturday Plans

2009-05-22T22:38:00.002-04:00

Alexa's home!! Went to see Night at the Museum tonight with friends.
We're meeting the fam for breakfast bright and early....(too early for my sis Emily).
Then off to soccer at 10, Alexa's doing well, improving each time...I'm proud of her :)
Not sure what the rest of the afternoon holds yet, we have tentative plans to head to the Toledo Zoo, but it may rain.
I'm exhausted; been up late several nights in a row, I need some good sleep...

2009-05-21T10:07:00.001-04:00

Knowing that the Lord has my life in His hands, brings me comfort.

Un-remember when?

2009-05-17T18:26:00.004-04:00

I took Alexa rollerskating today for a friend's birthday party. I was lacing up her skates when I noticed someone out of the corner of my eye, and I looked directly at him, making eye contact. I was unprepared for the memory that came flooding back into my mind; I had a surge of adrenaline, and felt like the room was spinning around me, and it seemed to become silent for a moment, then I became numb. It was something I hadn't remembered for 16 years, that was staring me in the face, and I was unable to run from it. Instead I had to stay in this place for the next 2 hours, forced to be in the presence of this man that I wish I hadn't remembered.

There was a part of me that wanted to be bold and confront him; the other part wished to hide in hopes that he wouldn't know who I was. However, he did notice me, and I'm sure he knew who I was. I was very self conscious, as I skated around the rink with my daughter and her friends. I felt like his eyes were glaring a hole right through me, and it caused me incredible discomfort...

Many things happen in our lives that become distant in our memory, or altogether forgotten about. When that memory is jogged, feelings that are pleasant, funny, scary, surprising, refreshing, comforting, embarrassing, guilt-inducing, and frightening all have the potential to interfere with our current state of mind.
Sometimes we forget things for the sake of our own protection, and I suppose for the most part, in that instance, it's best. There is the possibility, though, that the past can confront us at any given moment, and it is then that we must deal with that memory which had escaped us.

I said a prayer, and allowed God to work through me, bringing me peace in mind and body. I am thankful that the Lord gave me that peace, along with a sense of forgiveness. That is something that can only come from God.

My Saturday

2009-05-16T18:47:00.002-04:00

We woke up early this morning anticipating Alexa's soccer game, but I received an e-mail that the game was cancelled due to the rain last night.

Someone was coming to see the house today, so it was time to tidy up.

Afterwards we headed out around 9:45am, stopped and got a bagel and coffee, and drove down to Toledo to shop at Franklin Park Mall.

After trying on 20 pair of jeans at The Buckle I decided to buy the BKE Madison Stretch Bootcut style; I worked up a sweat trying all of those jeans on!! Of course the sales girl was generous enough to locate a cute top, and pair of earrings to go with my new jeans, so I'm all set for church tomorrow :) No, I didn't hit the lotto! Michael gave me a very generous Mother's Day gift which I happily accepted and wasted no time using!

After a loop around the mall, we headed toward home, stopping at the meat market to get chicken for dinner.

I prepared dinner as I listened intently to the conversations going on between my daughter and 8 neighborhood boys outside! She was called a variety of names: Rihanna, Ava, Brianna, Alexis, until I shouted out the window, "It's Alexa!"
They decided to play war, so my precious daughter bolted into the house, ran upstairs, and about 5 minutes later came down with her "war makeup" on, as she called it. She had glitter on her entire face, berry colored lipstick, and two black streaks on each cheekbone; she grabbed her walking stick and ran back outside.
I watched as she stood on the top of a rock in the backyard watching all of the boys running around, as she hollered and cheered. They all listened to her, and pretty much did whatever she said. At one point all of the boys were yelling, and the oldest shouted for everyone to be quiet. Then I heard him say, "Let her talk! Alexa? What did you want to say?"
It was so cute that he was looking out for my little girl amongst this crew of soldiers!

I let her play for about 20 minutes, then called her in for dinner.
I broiled caesar marinated chicken breasts, tossing mine into a salad of dark greens, tomatoes, cucumbers, red onion, avocado, olive oil, red wine vinegar, herbs, and pepper; Alexa had hers with sliced cucumbers, grape tomatoes, bread with butter, and apple sauce.

We're in for the night now. I gave myself a mani/pedi, and baked milk chocolate chip cookies with walnuts. Alexa has her friend Troy over, a school mate that we carpool with, and they are in between playing on the porch with sidewalk chalk, and inside with the DS.

I'm settling down with a book, and chamomile tea, and finishing up the day's housework.
Tomorrow is church, I can't wait!

6 Unimportant Favorite Things

2009-05-15T21:35:00.006-04:00

Margie tagged me to list my 6 unimportant favorite things.
(In the grand plan of life, these things are unimportant, but to ME, very wonderful!)

Here they are in no particular order:

Morning coffee, with dessert coffee, decaf after dinner coffee, while I'm shopping coffee, hot summer day iced coffee, you get the idea :)

Going out to eat. (Breakfast is a huge favorite, see #1!!) Breakfast: Bob Evan's; Lunch: Malek Al Kabob's; Dinner: Texas Roadhouse (Sirloin), Carraba's (Chicken Franco), Outback (Salmon)

Jeans & flip flops.

Lip gloss, lip balm.

My "cuddle pillow"....I don't go to sleep without it.

Having someone else pump my gas....I loathe it!

I'm supposed to tag 6 other bloggers, but I don't know that many that haven't been tagged!! So, I'll tag Alexa, and Phyllis!

2009-05-11T22:04:00.007-04:00

Alexa is spending time with her dad. I miss her so much when she's gone, our home is not the same.

It's absent of loud thuds that follow flips and cart wheels;

no requests for snacks, or dinner;

toys remain untouched in the toy room;

I don't wake up early to brush her hair, make breakfast, get her dressed, and send her off to school;

and most of all I miss kneeling next to her bed at night praying together and singing our two traditional bedtime songs. When I say "good night" and leave the room soon she calls for "one more hug, one more kiss," then, "see you in the morning, Mom".

I just love her; she is the best gift from God!

Mother's Day

2009-05-10T21:35:00.005-04:00

I was offered many beautiful sentiments today, Mother's Day. As I remember how influential, and important I am in Alexa's life, I know that it is not only an honor, and a blessing, it is a huge responsibility to be her mother.

Her watchful eyes notice everything I do; her attentive ears hear everything I say; her maturing voice utters similar things that I've said; and all along I go on about my business without realizing that she will do what I DO, not what I say.

She will follow my example, and develop her own personality and character largely because of how she's witnessed me throughout her life.

Much of the parenting that we do doesn't occur when we're trying to teach, and lead; it occurs when our children are watching our purpose in and our response to life's circumstances.

Thank you Lord, for blessing me with the opportunity to be a mother! I will look to You for guidance as I continue on this wonderful journey....

2009-05-10T08:32:00.003-04:00

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

And...

Thank you, Alexa, for all that you are to me!

I love you!

2009-05-07T07:13:00.004-04:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LYDIA, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!

WE LOVE YOU LYDIA! HAPPY 6TH BIRTHDAY!

Love,

Aunt Stacy, and Alexa xoxoxoxo

2009-05-06T22:27:00.003-04:00

PRAYER REQUEST:
MY DAD WENT TO U OF M HOSPITAL TONIGHT WITH CHEST PAINS. INITIAL TESTS DON'T INDICATE ANY PROBLEMS.

God's Way

2009-05-06T21:15:00.004-04:00

A few posts ago I mentioned the cashier's office at school was unable to help me with my student account balance, and the financial aid office was also unable to help.
The problem was that I had an outstanding balance because of some books that I had purchased, prior to the winter semester that I didn't end up enrolling in. Time had lapsed and I was unable to return the books; because I wasn't registered, naturally, my financial aid was revoked, and I owed the school the money from my books- $230.92. I don't know about you, but I can't wish this money into existence!
Yesterday, I took the books to the college store for their buy back program. I received a whopping $34 for my books. I planned on applying this to the outstanding balance in hopes that my efforts to pay a little bit at a time would allow them to remove the current hold on my account. Due to the hold on my account, I can't have any activity with the school, which means I can't register for my fall classes next week.
So again, I found myself at the cashier's office hoping to resolve this issue. I offered to put my $34 toward the balance, and asked if that would allow me to register next week for the fall semester. She said that they would accept a partial payment but that wouldn't cause the hold to be removed.....

But then an angel of the Lord appeared....(ok, I'm being dramatic) The cashier told me that she would go ahead and remove my hold anyway, that I could go ahead and register next week. She said I could resolve my balance with next semester's financial aid; oddly enough, at my previous visit two different people told me this could not be done, as a matter of fact, that it was illegal. I certainly don't know that it's illegal, but I DO know that God provided a way! Even better, I got to keep my $34!
I walked away from her window, and said aloud, "Praise you Lord, thank you!"

Big day tomorrow....I have my nursing school meeting. I have already attended this meeting when I anticipated starting this past winter, so it will be a bit redundant; nevertheless, mandatory.

Next week we'll actually register for classes. If I'm not mistaken you don't get much of a choice, I just hope it all works out in my favor...I know it will, God will provide a way!

Granny

2009-05-05T21:35:00.006-04:00

My granny, Dorothy, is 85 years old. She is the youngest of 13 kids, who have all passed away, and was responsible for taking care of her ailing mother as a young woman.
She married my grandfather and had 3 children; my mom, my Aunt Cathy, and my Uncle Charles who was born mentally retarded. My granny worked her whole adult life, and never had a reprieve from caring for my uncle until about 10 years ago when she had no choice but to move him to a group home.
My grandfather died 3 years ago, and she has been alone since.
I have tried my very best to care for her in any way that I could. She no longer drives, and has trouble doing simple tasks. I recently began cleaning her apartment every couple of weeks, writing her bills, some random shopping, or trips to the doctor. My mom does all of her laundry, most of her shopping, drives her to nearly all of her doctor's appointments, and anything else Granny needs. Other than that, Granny doesn't get much company. She's very lonely, and suffers from depression, and mild dementia. Physically, she is healthy, no major problems.
Nearly every time I call or visit, she reminds me that she doesn't want to live any longer, and she can't understand why God would want her here.
I'm taking her to a routine doctor's appointment on Friday, and to the salon for a haircut and style, and a manicure. She received a gift certificate for Christmas from another family member to the salon. I pray that it makes her feel better, and I'm asking everyone that reads this to, please, take a few minutes out of your day to pray for my granny. I want nothing more than for her to feel peaceful and enjoy her life to the extent that she can....

For God's Sake

2009-05-04T08:41:00.006-04:00

I am reading a book that Margie blessed me with, The Life You Crave, the promise of discernment, by Jerusha Clark.

I'm at a point in life where I feel like every decision regarding MY life, ultimately comes down to ME. That may sound a bit obvious to some people; perhaps you're thinking I'm silly for even saying it. After all, it is my life, right? But I don't have parents influencing me, nor do I have a spouse influencing me; therefore, I must be very focused on listening for and to the voice that is guiding me, that of my Heavenly Father. It's just me and Him.

I'd like to share an excerpt from the book that spoke to me yesterday, that speaks about God's intentions for our lives.

The book quotes preacher E. Stanley Jones:

"The development of character, rather than direction in this, that, and the other matter, is the primary purpose of the Father. He will guide us, but he won't override us....Suppose a parent would dictate to the the child minutely everything he is to do during the day. The child would be stunted....The parent must guide in such a manner, and to the degree, that autonomous character, capable of making right decisions for itself, is produced. God does the same."

It goes on to say:

"What a life-altering thought: With respect to many choices in our future, God's will is that we decide. What we choose when not explicitly told what to do is the final indicator of who we are. What kind of person do you want your choices to reveal: someone who longs to know God's will for His sake or for you own?"

I was really struck by that passage.

God does give us free will. Even when you are seeking to live your life according to God's Word, and His plan, it is still often difficult to discern what decisions to make. Having free will can become a hindrance.

So then what do we ultimately base our decisions on assuming that our decisions either way won't compromise the Word of God?

Saturday Plans

2009-05-02T06:50:00.006-04:00

Breakfast with the fam....I can't wait for that coffee this morning!!

Alexa's first soccer game....she looks so cute in her uniform!

Come home, shower, get ready, eat lunch.

Help Granny with her checkbook, and grocery shop for her.

Go to Jay and Bobbi's for a BBQ and bonfire! (It's Aaron's birthday today--he's older than I am...how exciting!)

p.s. The movie was a bit disappointing, dinner was delicious, but, of course, I forgot to take pictures! We had a great time though!

Random...

2009-05-01T08:16:00.003-04:00

I am so excited to go out with a few girlfriends tonight!
We're heading out to dinner at Chili's or Old Chicago and then going to the movies to see Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.

I've decided that life's too short not to take pictures, so since I found my camera charger I'm going to try to take lots of pictures to post here and on my brand new facebook account!

I cut the grass today, first time of the season!

Off to enjoy the rest of my day...

2009-04-30T08:12:00.001-04:00

Today, I need prayer. Peace, strength, discernment, comfort, faith...

Here's the truth...

2009-04-26T21:49:00.005-04:00

If you are blessed with something in your life, whether or not you fully comprehend its value, when it slips away and you no longer have it, you will covet the people who do.

I'm struggling with envy...

2009-04-25T23:23:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow is church....I've often attended church alone. As a matter of fact, for more time than not, I've sat alone at church.
It's strange that I can feel so alone, individual, removed, in a room of over 500 people.
Isn't that how God would want me to feel?

Psalm 95:6 Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the LORD our Maker

Saturday

2009-04-25T06:56:00.003-04:00

Saturday!! Meeting the fam at Bob's for our Saturday morning tradition!
I have a surprise planned for Alexa today, that is, as long as she shows me how responsible and well behaved she can be. ; )
I ran 4 miles yesterday, grocery shopped, took Lex to the park, had Michael over for dinner, walked another 3 miles with Alexa and Michael (to get a frozen custard), went to another park, baked peanut butter cookies, played Scrabble, and hit the hay around 11. I was so tired yesterday...
Yet here I am today, getting up at 6:45am as normal! I can't sleep in. Nor can I stay up late. I am on such a schedule, that I wake up at 6:45, and fall asleep at 10:30 every night, give or take a half hour. Don't ask me to stay up late--can't do it. I'm shuttin' down and there's nothing I can do about it. I've always been the same....
Well, I'm off to enjoy my Saturday.

Weekend Plans

2009-04-24T12:40:00.004-04:00

I'm happy that the weekend is here. Things I plan to do:

Visit our local frozen custard hot spot on a bike ride.
Surprise Alexa with something reeeaally special!
Grocery shop (a favorite pastime)
Bake something (go figure) peanut butter-y!
Cook dinner (chicken or salmon broiled, cauliflower & brocolli sauteed in olive oil jazzed up with Italian seasonings, baked sweet potatoes for me, mashed potatoes for Lex)
Read outside
Run with Alexa
Play Scrabble, Yahtzee, Old Maid
Meet for breakfast
The rest is yet to be determined.....

Enjoy the SUNSHINE!!

For Rent!

2009-04-21T08:13:00.002-04:00

We've decided to postpone the wedding. There are several reasons that have led us to this conclusion, which I won't go into; however, it means that I'm on a new mission...
I need a place to rent! I'm looking in Dearborn. I'd love a 3 bedroom. Ranch, bungalow, doesn't matter. Nice neighborhood. Good schools. I'd be close to school, and several friends and family members. Tuition would be cheaper. And I would feel like I was a part of civilization! All of that being said, my house needs to sell...soon! I don't want to move once school starts for the both of us. If we sold by summer, it would give us time to get settled into a new place. The Lord knows my needs, and I'm praying that things would go smoothly, and better than I could expect or imagine!

Update: My realtor called today, and in between the time that I told her we may not sell, and yesterday when I told her we ARE selling, someone told her that their client wanted to put an offer on the house! Tons of red tape to go through, which will take awhile, in the meantime I'm praying for peace.

Not Me...?

2009-04-20T08:42:00.002-04:00

I've been a bit negative lately. Spent a good hour yesterday ranting to Michael, and another half hour today spewing my pessimism to Margie. After said spewing, while driving in the rain, I arrived at school, and visited the cashier's office, so that they could tell me they couldn't help me. The cashier's office shifted me over to the financial aid office, where I waited an hour for them to tell me that they, too, were unable to help me, by way of informing me that the cashier's office often sends people they can't help, by default, to the financial aid office. Nice....Negative Nelly I am.
I found time to bake, though, which is a stress reliever for me. That, and running, but baking tastes better! I made dark chocolate cookies with milk, semi-sweet, and white chocolate chips. They're a bit crunchy, a bit soft. Next time, I'll use peanut butter chips!
Alexa is precious, as usual, making time for her new blog, homework, and Polly Pockets. She's growing up so fast, which reminds me to enjoy the simple moments and quit the Negative Nelly routine! Subtle reminders...I am grateful for them!
I'm off to read my Jodi Picoult novel "Change of Heart".

Alexa's new blog

2009-04-15T19:17:00.002-04:00

Alexa was inspired to create her own blog, after writing mine today.
Please visit her at www.alexabear.blogspot.com

2009-04-15T09:22:00.002-04:00

(There is no school this week. So a new blogger is on site. This blog is brought to you by Alexa.)

My kitty is named Mya. She is a weird kitty. Well, even though I love her, she scratches me. Mya's best friend is my dog Sammy. She sleeps with me sometimes. She is my loving kitty.
Today when I was on the couch, I put the blanket on her and then I laid on her, and then she got out of the blanket.
I think that's all. I wrote my own blog!
~~Alexa

2009-04-11T08:29:00.002-04:00

I am a sinner, destined for hell, but Jesus stepped in and took my place....
I am humbled, given eternal life, now I must love and serve others, as Jesus did.

Praise you God! Thank you for the cross!

2009-04-08T08:19:00.003-04:00

I was put in the position yesterday to perform a random act of kindness.
I don't blog this to bring any sort of credit to myself, whatsoever, I want to tell of God's faithfulness!
At church several weeks ago, we received www.paidforu.net business cards. We were supposed to find an opportunity to serve a stranger by paying for their order at a fast food restaurant, grocery store, or similar establishment.
I pulled up to Tim Horton's at 6 pm, just prior to Alexa's parent/teacher conference, to get myself a hot chocolate, and Alexa a hot apple cider. Just as I pulled my purse onto my lap to get my wallet out, I noticed the card in my ashtray, which had gone unnoticed for 2 weeks.
I felt God nudge me to pay for the lady behind me, and give the card to the employee with an explanation, asking her to pass the card on to the recipient.
My very first thought was that I don't have any extra, extra money. This $2.37 treat was my extra for the week. It's evening, and the chances that this lady just ordered a coffee are slim. I played out this entire scenario in my mind about how she probably came to pick up several dozen donuts for a meeting, or a couple of sandwiches with soup for dinner with her son, and I couldn't pay for that!
God whispered to me to trust him, he wouldn't give me a task that I couldn't accomplish. He wanted that particular woman to have that experience yesterday, and have the opportunity to visit www.paidforu.net.
I questioned again. She probably won't even check it out.
God whispered to me that she needed encouragement, that things were tough for her. I looked at her beautiful cream colored Chrysler 300, her business suit, and blond up do, and I thought to myself that she looks like she has it all together. Just being honest....that's what I thought.
Once again God nudged me.
So in complete faith, I came to the window and told the employee that I'd like to pay for the car behind me. Then came the dreaded question, "how much is her order?"
Drum roll please.........................$1.67!!
Wow! God really did know that I could come up with that extra amount! He didn't give me a task that I couldn't handle!
So I paid for our orders, gave the card to the employee, and explained that this was sort of a "pay it forward" type of thing that my church was doing, could she please give the woman this card. She smiled, and said "That was very nice of you ma'am." (Never mind the fact that she was about 60! Suddenly, I was the "ma'am"!)
As I pulled away, I reminded her that I would really appreciate her giving the woman the card. I watched her put the card in one hand and the woman's hot drink in the other.
Then I saw the woman try to hand the employee cash, and she slowly, reluctantly pulled her hand back into the car window, as she listened to what the Tim Horton's worker told her.
Alexa suddenly chimed in, "That was really nice of you, Mom." (A big reminder that our kids DO watch everything we do!)
I smiled and realized not only did God speak to the woman in the Chrysler, that 60-something Tim Horton's employee, and possibly others that may wonder what was going on at the window...he also spoke to me as I heard him whisper, "Just trust me."
I love you Lord! Thank you for the opportunity to serve someone at my favorite drive thru!!

Psalm 31:14 But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God."

Unanswered??

2009-04-07T10:17:00.004-04:00

Above I've highlighted Mark 11:22-24

Did Jesus really mean that if we ask for anything, and believe it, then it will be ours? If we have enough faith, then our prayers will be answered?

Why then do so many believing, faithful Christians pray for good things, and nothing comes to fruition?

Do they not have the right faith? Is the prayer not worded exactly right? Do they have a hint of the doubt, that Jesus says not to have?

Is God not listening? Are the things we are praying for not important to God? I don't think so......

Then, please, dear God tell us what it is you want us to know as believers...There are many faithful, believing Christians who love You, who are feeling at a loss for words, and are waiting for Your guidance. Be with them, love them, comfort them, and assure them. Strenghten them, and give them wisdom.
Amen.

2009-04-05T19:02:00.008-04:00

I had a vacation! Well, a mini one....nonetheless, relaxing!

Alexa and I went to my dad and step mom's in South Lyon on Saturday morning. Dad insisted I come out so that he could fix my car, that is after I called him for the 3rd or 4th time with yet another pesky problem! Warped rotors.

So off we went with my two bed pillows, large clothing bag, medium sized toiletries and everything-in-between bag, Alexa's pillow, suitcase, and DVD's, books, and bead kit.....for ONE overnight stay. I'm a just-in-case type of person, which means I don't travel lightly!

Anyhow, Dad had gone to pick up my niece Lydia, and we all met up at his house around noon. It's so great when we get to see her, the girls usually have a lot of catching up to do.

Dad lives on over 2 acres, on a country road in South Lyon. I lived there as an adult for about 6 months, and it still feels like home to me. They have a Border Collie named Will, and he loves running the yard with the kids. Dad also has a chicken coop....which served as a past time this weekend...

Mimi (the name assigned to my step mom by Alexa as a toddler) just bought 15 four day old baby chicks on Saturday, so when she got to the house with them the girls helped to set up their home: A large black tub, cedar liter, plate with food, water dispenser, and red heat lamp. So, in they went, some with a little bit more grace than others, as the girls picked them up out of their box home, to put them into their new home. As the girls got settled in, and dad worked on my car, I showered and got ready to go out for the evening...

Michael had a date night for us. His sister-in-law, Melissa, turned 30 yesterday, so her husband had planned a party with friends: dinner at Outback Steakhouse, and bowling at Lucky Strike in Novi. We enjoyed delicious Atlantic Salmon with veggies for dinner, and headed over to Lucky Strike for a less than stellar bowling performance. We had a blast though! It was so much fun. I got a piggy back ride to the car, after all it WAS 11:30 (my bedtime is closer to 10!) and we drove back to Dad's....

Meanwhile, back on the farm...we walked in the back door into a very quiet house. Mimi had gone to bed, and the girls had fallen asleep under the fort in the living room. Dad outdid himself providing movies, Dennis the Menace, and Shrek; homemade popcorn (the ONLY kind to eat!); and chocolate milk, which followed a dinner of mini-pizza, and cake!! He IS grandpa, after all, and I guess certain rules don't apply! He carried the girls up to bed: a make shift bed he had put together on the floor for them. I kissed Michael goodbye, and headed upstairs to wash my face, brush and floss my teeth, and change, and enjoy a peaceful night's sleep....

I woke up to complete silence at 7, and headed downstairs to make a pot of coffee. I had about 45 mins. to enjoy a cup, and read, and soon the girls headed down. Shortly after, Mimi awoke, and we chatted. Dad came down about an hour later to fix breakfast: oatmeal, sausage, toast, blackberries, blueberries, and juice.

We ate breakfast, the girls played, and I enjoyed my delightful stay at what felt like my very own Bed and Breakfast!

Par for the course: I forgot my camera for the night, so the only picture I ended up with was the one that Lex took of the chicks under the red heat light!!

My Faves

2009-04-04T07:46:00.003-04:00

Margie posted one, so here's mine....

My Favorite Things:

1. Alexa
2. Michael
3. coffee w/ double cream
4. chocolate chip cookies warm out of the oven
5. worship on Sunday mornings
6. going out to breakfast with my family
7. running, outside!
8. baking (give me the recipe and I'll try it, though my favorite is milk chocolate/toffee cookies)
9. going out to dinner (on a date, or with girlfriends)
10. shoppin' when I'm buyin'

In Grocery Shopping

2009-03-31T14:17:00.004-04:00

I LOVE grocery shopping! This is one thing in life that undoubtedly brings me excitement! Silly, simple, maybe even weird?
I enjoy being in my kitchen, washing, peeling, slicing, dicing, seasoning, boiling, broiling, baking, you name it! I don't know if this is necessarily an area in which I'm all that talented, but it brings me so much joy! Which is why I think I LOVE to grocery shop! Looking for fresh fruits and veggies, planning meals, and my very favorite...the "baking needs" aisle!
It's just me and Alexa, which is why I love to share whatever I make. Taking baked goods to a friend's, sharing a meal with someone who's in need of one, or in want of one : )
So, Michael, Alexa, thank you for doing me the favor of indulging in everything I make, including cookies...somebody's gotta do it!

Proverbs 31

2009-03-30T08:35:00.004-04:00

I want to:

Be worth far more than rubies.
Bring my future husband good all the days of my life.
Work with eager hands.
Provide food for my family (although I don't have a servant girl to give portions to, lol).
Have strength for my tasks.
Open my arms to the poor and extend my hands to the needy.
Know that my future husband is respected.
Be clothed with strength and dignity, laughing at the days to come.
Speak with wisdom, and faithful instruction.
Watch over the affairs of my household.
Never eat the bread of idleness.
Know that my children love and respect me,
Know that my future husband loves me and appreciates me, too.
Fear the Lord, with love and obedience.
Be a Proverbs 31 woman...

(Inspired by Michael's morning conversation.)

2009-03-28T13:25:00.005-04:00

Back to breakfast....met the fam for our traditional Saturday morning breakfast. We switched it up a bit, instead of meeting at Bob's, we met at the Barrel! (Cracker Barrel).
Something about changing traditions feels weird. I didn't get my usual oatmeal, 2 eggs over-medium, and banana. Instead, I was forced by my taste buds to get blueberry pancakes, with a sliced banana. The coffee was good, but I prefer the creamer that's in the cute little white pitcher, over the half 'n half cups in a bowl on the table.
Everyone had to drive down here, versus just ME driving up there....Emily mentioned that she felt like she was on a mini-field trip!
I think next time I'll suggest sticking with the traditional, Bob's.

In Worrying

2009-03-26T18:20:00.003-04:00

I don't know why I need constant reminders about how to trust in God. It seems that sometimes my circumstances get the best of me, and I lose it....I lose my focus. I forget that in all things I should pray first, not worry, wonder, and wallow in my circumstances, but pray.
I sat down today experiencing a moment, and I "just so happened" to pick up a book I have entitled God is in the Small Things, and it all matters.
I literally said a quick prayer, "God, let me open this book and find something meaningful."
I would like to share the advice on the page that I "just so happened" to flip to:

**Worrying occurs when God is left out of the process.
**Anxiety is short-lived if we give it to God.
**If you prepare for the future, you won't have to worry about it.
**Don't worry as much about where you are as where you are going.
**Rather than worrying about change, learn to thrive on it.
**Worry is a choice.
**When you choose to worry, you are choosing not to trust God.
**Worrying can literally harm you-emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.
**Instead of worrying about what you can't do, think about what God can do for you.
**The best way to stop worrying is to start praying.
**Never confuse worrying about tomorrow with planning for tomorrow.
**Prayer changes things; worry changes nothing.

I know it sounds hokey, kind of like flipping your Bible open to a random page and putting your finger on a verse hoping to have the words jump off of the page as if God Himself was speaking those words directly to you, but I KNOW that God was speaking to me when I flipped to a random page in my book today, and I am thankful!

In Fasting

2009-03-13T09:37:00.003-04:00

I have recently fasted from something I love dearly...
In fasting I was seeking God's guidance, wisdom, and peace.
If I'm honest, I don't often deny myself anything in my pursuit of God.
The practice of fasting may not be very popular in our culture. After all, we live in the U.S. where things are plentiful and at our disposal. But making a decision to forgo something we love, can indeed draw us closer to the Lord.
I felt an emptiness inside of me while fasting. Initially, I catered to this emptiness, until I realized this very feeling was a reminder to me that I should seek God. Every time I felt that feeling, I humbled my heart and entered into the presence of the Most High King. His peace poured over me, His love embraced me, and His words comforted me.
Our God is waiting for us to experience Him fully. As I long for Alexa to crawl into my lap so that I can comfort her, so God has a desire to comfort me.
I was struggling to find peace. I fasted, and let God have my full attention. It was then that He spoke to me.

It's Me Again

2009-03-13T08:39:00.010-04:00

Ok, it's been awhile, I know...

Since I last blogged:

1. Ordered my wedding dress!

2. Put a deposit down for our wedding at Laurel Manor.

3. Put my house on the market.

4. Painted Alexa's "toy room".

5. Helped my granny move from assisted living in Westland, to a small apartment in Dearborn.

6. Made a decision to start nursing school in August, due to scheduling conflicts.

7. Decided to train for the Detroit Free Press Half-Marathon again, October 18th.

8. Pertaining to #7, I haven't worked out in a week and a half, because Alexa has been sick since last Wednesday. She's "better" now, if "better" is defined as no fever, and back to school, although not back to herself.

9. Mourned with a friend who's brother passed away. Having gone through this myself in 2005, I'm all too familiar with the pain of losing a sibling. Please pray for June's continued peace.

10. Decided to start blogging again...

In Feeling Blessed

2009-01-06T14:15:00.008-05:00

As I enter into the new year, I reflect on the blessings that God has laid at my feet.....

With His grace, I have a new found freedom in Christ!
I personally know of the strength and peace that is poured down on me by my gracious God, if I put all of my trust in Him! THIS is true freedom!

Ephesians 2:8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—

I have new friends and a new purpose because of the ministry that God is creating in me! Suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character hope: my God given assignment is to introduce other women to this beautiful hope!!

Romans 5: 1-5 We have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

I am blessed with a beautiful, HEALTHY daughter who is now 7!
Having gone through a stint in the hospital with Alexa, gives me a full understanding of the blessing of health! She is a beautiful, talented, bright girl, and she shows such promise as to the young lady she will become! I am honored to be her mother!

God put an amazing man in my path, and I, being trustful and aware of God's grace and faithfulness, invited a relationship to develop between us that has become a fabulous love story!
One that officially became an engagement at 1:30 am January 1, 2009!
Michael is wise; he is God seeking, and God fearing; he is strong in body, but gentle in spirit; he is funny (actually hilarious!) and sincere; he is handsome, yet humble; he is faithful, truthful, and honest; he is thoughtful, selfless, compassionate, and loving, and his smile lights up a room!! He gives me inspiration, encouragement, and understanding. I said, "yes"! because he is the love of my life, my very best friend, and a fabulous role model to my daughter!

God has blessed me beyond words! And I know that when I delight in the Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart......because I do, and He has!!
Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

In Christmas Morning Blessings

2008-12-24T17:00:00.000-05:00

We celebrate the day that our Savior was born, oh what a wonderful, beautiful gift!! Thank you heavenly father, I love Him!!
MERRY CHRIST~~MAS!!

I also celebrate the birth of my most beautiful, intelligent, funny, thoughtful, gem of a daughter, Alexa Celeste.....on Christmas morning!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEXA!! 7 LOOKS GREAT ON YOU!!

2008-12-20T23:39:00.002-05:00

I had an epiphany today....
You don't truly know how great you felt until you feel awful.
On the way back to great from awful, stopping somewhere in the middle is a reminder of the extremes. Can't wait to make my trek back to great, from midland!! I'm on my way, and I'll greatly appreciate it when I get there!!

In "Hungry Hands"

2008-12-20T08:01:00.003-05:00

Ok, I've determined that more than likely I have a sinus infection.
I'm experiencing mild vertigo, my face hurts, and I can hear a faint echo of my pulse in my ears. If you've ever had this problem you know exactly what I'm talking about. If not, you think I'm losing it.

I can't stand being prohibited by how I feel. Like Michael said, "You don't feel well, and you feel bad that you don't feel well, then you feel bad that you feel bad that you don't feel well." Yes!! That's it. I feel guilty for being sick. Christmas is 5 days away, and I have a ton to do still: shopping, baking, wrapping, cleaning. So, I think today is the day that I will go and get my physical for nursing school. Certainly the doc will look up my nose, and in my ears and see the signs of infection, and prescribe a cheap antibiotic for me, and in no time (12-24 hours) I'll be feeling much better.

I use my hands as a demo when describing to Alexa how your immune system works. I make a fist with one hand, and a BIG mouth with the other. The fist is the germ and the "hungry" hand is her immune system. I tell her that she has to make the "hungry" hand stronger than the germ so that it can gobble up all of the germs and make her better. Then I'll tell her several things that are important to her immune system.
I explain all of this now, because when I put her to bed last night, and said a prayer for her, she asked if she could then say a prayer.

"God, I pray that you make mommy feel better. Please make her hungry hand strong so that it can eat all the germs, and she'll get better."
I was so touched by this, and then came the motivation of my near 7 year old.....
"I want her to better so that we can go to my friend Madisyn's tomorrow and have pizza, cause if we don't go I'll be sad."
Well, regardless of her motive, she was thoughtful enough, and cute enough, to say a prayer for mommy!!!
Now comes my motivation...
"God, please help me to feel better, immediately, I have so much stuff to do, and I can't possibly get this stuff done feeling this way. Christmas is in 5 days, and I have a lot to get ready for. Not to mention, I have a reading to do on Christmas Eve at church, that's important to you God, right???"
All joking aside, I would love to get better, and I'm hoping to make it to the clinic today....

In God's Snow Day

2008-12-19T11:41:00.002-05:00

I'm thankful for this snow day.
Snow days often force us to participate in activities that we don't normally do. For me this includes relaxing.
I haven't been feeling great, but continue to hustle and bustle around. I woke up this morning still feeling, yuck, and had it not been for the fact that I'm "trapped" by the icy snow, I'd probably try and do some running around.
So instead, I'm simmering a pot of chicken lemon rice soup that is DEE-LICIOUS, and packed with vitamins, and anti-inflammatories; drinking my Green Goodness and C-Boost Bolthouse Farms Juices; also drinking Echinacea and Chamomile teas; and nearly ready to put on a movie, the Christmas favorite, ELF for Alexa and me.
I hope everyone is safe and sound, and able to enjoy something out of their ordinary routine today, God has declared a "snow day"!

Please try this recipe, it's so good for you!!
CHICKEN LEMON RICE SOUP

5 cups of cooked chicken (Finely chop or shred several chicken breasts and cook them in a drizzle of olive oil, with black pepper and kosher salt. In a pinch, you can use left overs, or a rotisserie.)
3 large carrots, sliced
3 quarts of chicken broth (preferably free range organic, because it leaves out the added hormones and antibiotics that other chickens get)
1 cup uncooked long grain brown rice
3 large handfuls baby spinach leaves
3 lemons, juiced
black pepper to taste

Put all ingredients into pot, bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer 40 mins to an hour. You could use white rice, if so, simmering time reduced to 20 mins.

THIS SOUP IS FULL OF GOOD THINGS, AND IS A NICE ALTERNATIVE TO TRADITIONAL CHICKEN NOODLE!! ENJOY!

In Provision

2008-12-12T08:01:00.005-05:00

I had my drug screening, and titer labs done yesterday to the tune of $110.
On Monday, I go to my class at an instructor's home to get my certification in basic life saving techniques, $65.
Tuesday, is the meeting in which we go through the nursing school handbook, listen to advisers, and order our uniforms which are, $140.
This pre-nursing school tab totals,$315.
Before month's end, I need to get a physical, $25, tetanus shot, $10, and TB test $10; another $45.
I receive financial aid, but oddly enough, can't access it to pay for these requirements, hm, go figure.
Tapping into my checking account for this has caused me a great amount of stress. I could pay for these things in the event that I returned the gifts that I already purchased, which makes me furious! I was blessed with a gift of money from a friend, and was instructed not to worry about having enough to buy gifts, that this gift of money would cover it. I was so elated that day, and immediately bought the gifts that I had been so excited to get for Alexa, and others.
To be honest, yesterday was a rough day for me. Dwelling on this financial setback is weighing me down emotionally. Bills, gifts, Alexa's birthday, nursing school requirements, groceries, gas, I NEED an oil change, did I say bills? Ugh!!
When God promises to take care of all of my needs, do these things qualify as needs??
I'm trying to rest in the promise that because I'm tithing, God WILL provide. But in my human mind, I've figured out that this is impossible. I've gone through every scenario of how this money will get into my hands, and there isn't any way. I'm no mathematician, but it makes no sense.
This is where I MUST let faith enter the equation. IMPOSSIBLE + FAITH = PROVISION, remembering that God IS the master mathematician!
And when it comes down to it, I KNOW I'm blessed. God's grace is enough. Being given eternal life needs to be enough....
Praying that I can keep this truth close to heart....in all things.

IN ADDITION, PROMPTED BY MIKE EDWARDS:
Malachi 3:10Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.